et him disliked. But I have
read books published in London for the use of English travellers abroad
every whit as foolish. Some educated idiot, misunderstanding seven
languages, would appear to go about writing these books for the
misinformation and false guidance of modern Europe."

"You cannot deny," said George, "that these books are in large request.
They are bought by the thousand, I know. In every town in Europe there
must be people going about talking this sort of thing."

"Maybe," I replied; "but fortunately nobody understands them. I have
noticed, myself, men standing on railway platforms and at street corners
reading aloud from such books. Nobody knows what language they are
speaking; nobody has the slightest knowledge of what they are saying.
This is, perhaps, as well; were they understood they would probably be
assaulted."

George said: "Maybe you are right; my idea is to see what would happen if
they were understood. My proposal is to get to London early on Wednesday
morning, and spend an hour or two going about and shopping with the aid
of this book. There are one or two little things I want--a hat and a
pair of bedroom slippers, among other articles. Our boat does not leave
Tilbury till twelve, and that just gives us time. I want to try this
sort of talk where I can properly judge of its effect. I want to see how
the foreigner feels when he is talked to in this way."

It struck me as a sporting idea. In my enthusiasm I offered to accompany
him, and wait outside the shop. I said I thought that Harris would like
to be in it, too--or rather outside.

George said that was not quite his scheme. His proposal was that Harris
and I should accompany him into the shop. With Harris, who looks
formidable, to support him, and myself at the door to call the police if
necessary, he said he was willing to adventure the thing.

We walked round to Harris's, and put the proposal before him. He
examined the book, especially the chapters dealing with the purchase of
shoes and hats. He said:

"If George talks to any bootmaker or any hatter the things that are put
down here, it is not support he will want; it is carrying to the hospital
that he will need."

That made George angry.

"You talk," said George, "as though I were a foolhardy boy without any
sense. I shall select from the more polite and less irritating speeches;
the grosser insults I shall avoid."

This being clearly understood, Harris ga