g suburb in charge of a nursery
full of helpless infants had never occurred to me. No, London,"
concluded my friend the churchwarden with a sigh, "affords but limited
opportunity to the lover of the illegal."

Now, in Germany, on the other hand, trouble is to be had for the asking.
There are many things in Germany that you must not do that are quite easy
to do. To any young Englishman yearning to get himself into a scrape,
and finding himself hampered in his own country, I would advise a single
ticket to Germany; a return, lasting as it does only a month, might prove
a waste.

In the Police Guide of the Fatherland he will find set forth a list of
the things the doing of which will bring to him interest and excitement.
In Germany you must not hang your bed out of window. He might begin with
that. By waving his bed out of window he could get into trouble before
he had his breakfast. At home he might hang himself out of window, and
nobody would mind much, provided he did not obstruct anybody's ancient
lights or break away and injure any passer underneath.

In Germany you must not wear fancy dress in the streets. A Highlander of
my acquaintance who came to pass the winter in Dresden spent the first
few days of his residence there in arguing this question with the Saxon
Government. They asked him what he was doing in those clothes. He was
not an amiable man. He answered, he was wearing them. They asked him
why he was wearing them. He replied, to keep himself warm. They told
him frankly that they did not believe him, and sent him back to his
lodgings in a closed landau. The personal testimony of the English
Minister was necessary to assure the authorities that the Highland garb
was the customary dress of many respectable, law-abiding British
subjects. They accepted the statement, as diplomatically bound, but
retain their private opinion to this day. The English tourist they have
grown accustomed to; but a Leicestershire gentleman, invited to hunt with
some German officers, on appearing outside his hotel, was promptly
marched off, horse and all, to explain his frivolity at the police court.

Another thing you must not do in the streets of German towns is to feed
horses, mules, or donkeys, whether your own or those belonging to other
people. If a passion seizes you to feed somebody else's horse, you must
make an appointment with the animal, and the meal must take place in some
properly authorised place. You