the sick, I never felt
disgust) forget my own sensations, when rising with health and spirit,
and after scenting the sweet morning, I have met my husband at the
breakfast table. The active attention I had been giving to domestic
regulations, which were generally settled before he rose, or a walk,
gave a glow to my countenance, that contrasted with his squallid
appearance. The squeamishness of stomach alone, produced by the last
night's intemperance, which he took no pains to conceal, destroyed my
appetite. I think I now see him lolling in an arm-chair, in a dirty
powdering gown, soiled linen, ungartered stockings, and tangled hair,
yawning and stretching himself. The newspaper was immediately called
for, if not brought in on the tea-board, from which he would scarcely
lift his eyes while I poured out the tea, excepting to ask for some
brandy to put into it, or to declare that he could not eat. In answer
to any question, in his best humour, it was a drawling 'What do you say,
child?' But if I demanded money for the house expences, which I put off
till the last moment, his customary reply, often prefaced with an oath,
was, 'Do you think me, madam, made of money?'--The butcher, the baker,
must wait; and, what was worse, I was often obliged to witness his surly
dismission of tradesmen, who were in want of their money, and whom I
sometimes paid with the presents my uncle gave me for my own use.

"At this juncture my father's mistress, by terrifying his conscience,
prevailed on him to marry her; he was already become a methodist; and
my brother, who now practised for himself, had discovered a flaw in
the settlement made on my mother's children, which set it aside, and he
allowed my father, whose distress made him submit to any thing, a tithe
of his own, or rather our fortune.

"My sisters had left school, but were unable to endure home, which my
father's wife rendered as disagreeable as possible, to get rid of girls
whom she regarded as spies on her conduct. They were accomplished, yet
you can (may you never be reduced to the same destitute state!)
scarcely conceive the trouble I had to place them in the situation of
governesses, the only one in which even a well-educated woman, with more
than ordinary talents, can struggle for a subsistence; and even this is
a dependence next to menial. Is it then surprising, that so many forlorn
women, with human passions and feelings, take refuge in infamy? Alone
in large mansions, I say