And, long ere anything's sent to sea,
Tot up a bill for you and me.

FOURTH SEA LORD.

The Fourth Sea Lord has a deal to plan,
For he's, chief of all, the Transport man.
He finds the Fleet in coal and victuals
(Supplying the beer--if not the skittles);
He sees to the bad'uns that get imprisoned,
And settles what uniform's worn (or isn't)....
Even the stubbornest own the sway
Of the Lord of Food and the Lord of Pay!

* * * * *

SEARCHLIGHTS ON THE MERSEY.

A long lean bar of silver spans
The ebon-rippled water-way,
And like a lost moon's errant ray
Strikes on the passing caravans--

Ghost-ships that from the desert seas
Loom silent through the steady beams,
Pale phantoms of elusive dreams
Cargoed with ancient memories.

Through the long night across the cool
Black waters to their shrouded berth,
Bearing the treasures of the earth,
Glide the fair ships to Liverpool.

* * * * *

"Londoner" in _The Evening News_:--

"Long live King Leopold, a faithful prince if ever there was one, as
loyal to his brave Belgians as they, gallant souls that they are,
are loyal to him. Does he, I wonder, ever take a look at his family
pedigree?"

Because, if so, he would discover that his name was really Albert.

* * * * *

Illustration: THE KING AT THE FRONT.

"TOMMY", (_having learned the language_). "VIVE LE ROI!"

* * * * *

Illustration: _Michael (gloomily)_. "MUMMY, I DO HOPE I SHAN'T DIE
SOON."

_Mummy_. "DARLING! SO DO I--BUT WHY?"

_Michael_. "IT WOULD BE _TOO_ AWFUL TO DIE A CIVILIAN."

* * * * *

THE ENTENTE IN BEING.

We were sitting in a little restaurant in the gay city--which is not a
gay city any more, but a city of dejection, a city that knows there is a
war going on and not so long since could hear the guns. There are,
however, corners where, for the moment, contentment or, at any rate,
visitations of mirth are possible, and this little restaurant is one of
them. Well, we were sitting there waiting for coffee, the room (for it
was late) now empty save for the table behind me, where two elderly
French bourgeois and a middle-aged woman were seated, when suddenly the
occupant of the chair which backed into mine and had been backing into
it so often during the evening