enough without it, and my contribution of _fine_ the fitting
conclusion. Still she made a brave show at cordiality. Then we were
introduced to the other gentleman, who was Madame's cousin and had a son
at the Front, and, on hearing this, we shook hands with him again, and
so gradually we disentangled and at last got into our coats and made our
adieux.

When I had shaken his feather-bed hand for the last time my new friend
gave me his card. It lies before me now as I write and I do not mean to
part with it:--

BAPTISTE GRIMAUD,
DELEGUE CANTONAL,
9A PLACE GAMBETTA.

_Pompes Funebres._

Well, if ever I come to die in Paris I know who shall bury me. I would
not let any one else do it for the world. Warm hearts are not so common
as all that!

* * * * *

Illustration: FAITH.

* * * * *

A FOOTNOTE TO HERODOTUS.

It has been discovered by a Berlin research student that "Germany" is a
mere corruption of "Cyrmania," and that the KAISER is descended from
CYRUS, King of Persia.

We are inclined to agree as to the "mania" part, and we think the
"corruption" must be that of the modern representatives of the ancient
Orientals, whose education consisted in riding, shooting--and telling
the truth.

The _Almanach de Bouverie Street_, however, informs us that the
ever-frowning WAR LORD derives from the monarch of the rocky brow, who
counted his men by nations at break of day, and when the sun set where
were they? If the Hohenxerxes family are still on the look-out for
places in the sun, they will find their ancestral homes for the most
part unoccupied in the sufficiently arid regions around Ecbatana and
Persepolis, now crying aloud for Kultur and Kraut.

We are still waiting to hear that VON HAFIZ and OMAR ZU KHAYYAM, as well
as SHAKSPEARE, have been proved to be Germans, and that the Herr WOLFF
of the Berlin Lie Bureau traces back to the foster-mother of
ROMULUS--and Romance.

* * * * *

ULTIMATUM.

_Mr. Punch_ begs to remind the 1,793 correspondents who have lately sent
him delightful plays upon the word "wet" [DE WET the man and "de wet"
the rain (ha-ha)] that the same idea had already occurred to 15,825
correspondents during the Boer War. Time is a great healer, but twelve
years is not long enough.

* * * * *

Mr. C. G. GREY writes in _The Daily Express_ on t