eal forces of his life. His
father had consented to Hugh's entering the Civil Service, but he
continued to hope that his son might ultimately decide to take orders;
he had cherished that hope from Hugh's earliest years, and seeing
Hugh's fondness for the externals of religion, while he knew nothing of
his mental attitude, he still believed and prayed that Hugh might be
led to enter the service of the Church. Hugh realised that this was
still his father's deep preoccupation, and perceived that he avoided
any direct expression of his wishes, exercising only a transparent
diplomacy which was infinitely touching--so touching indeed that Hugh
sometimes debated within himself whether he might not so far sacrifice
his own bent, which was more and more directed to the maintenance of an
independent attitude, in order to give his father so deep and lasting a
delight. But he was forced to decide that the motive was not cogent
enough, and that to adopt a definite position, involving the
suppression of some of his strongest convictions, for the sake of
giving one he loved a pleasure, was like exposing the ark to the risks
of battle. He knew well enough that if he had declared his full mind
on the subject to his father, the extent to which he felt forced to
suspend his judgment in religious matters, his father would have
desired the step no longer.

With the rest of the family circle, in these years, Hugh's relations
were affectionate but colourless. With his natural reticence, he
shrank from speaking of the thoughts which predominated in his mind;
especially while there was an abundance of interesting and
uncontroversial topics which afforded endless subjects of conversation;
and the tendency to leave matters alone which, if debated, might have
caused distress, was heightened by the death of one of Hugh's sisters.

She was a girl of a very deep, loyal, and generous nature, full of
activities and benevolences, and at the same time of a reflective order
of mind. She had been a strong central force in the family; and Hugh
found it strange to realise, after her death, that each member of the
family had felt themselves in a peculiar relation to her, as the object
of her special preoccupation. The event, which was strangely sudden,
stirred Hugh to the bottom of his soul. The vacant chair, the closed
loom, the sudden cessation of a hundred activities, brought sharply to
his mind the dark mystery of death. That a door should thus