s only feeling a tender wonder that those
who yet had the passage to make should find it to be so terrible, so
unendurable.

VII

Liberty--Cambridge--Literary Work--Egotism

The question which, when he resigned his appointment, occupied Hugh,
was where he should live. He would have preferred to settle in the
country, loving, as he did, silence and pure air, woods and fields. He
had never liked London, though it had become endurable to him by
familiarity. He decided, however, that at first, at all events, he
must if possible find a place where he could see a certain amount of
society, and where he would be able to obtain the books he expected to
need. He was afraid that if he transferred himself at once to the
country, he might sink into a morbid seclusion, as he had no strong
sociable impulses. His thoughts naturally turned to his own
university. He thought that if he could find a small house at
Cambridge, suitable to his means, he would be able to have as much or
as little society as he desired, while at the same time he would be on
the edge of the country. Moreover the flat fenland, which is generally
supposed to be unattractive, had always possessed a peculiar charm for
Hugh. He spent some time at home, revelling in his freedom, while he
made inquiries for a house. The thought of a long perspective of days
before him, without fixed engagements, without responsibilities, so
that he could come and go as he pleased, filled him with delight.

His father had not at all disapproved of the decision. Hugh had shown
him that he was pecuniarily independent; but he was aware that in the
background of his father's mind lay the hope that, even so late in
life, he might still be drawn to enter the ministry of the Church. At
all events he thought that Hugh might gain some academical position;
and thus he gave a decidedly cordial assent to the change, only
expressing a hope that Hugh would not make a hurried decision.

Hugh did not delay to sketch out a plan of work. But whereas before he
had worked only when he could, he now found himself in the blessed
position of being able to work when he would. Instead of becoming, as
he had feared, desultory, he found that his work exercised a strong
attraction over him--indeed that it became for him, with an amazing
swiftness, the one pursuit in the world about which exercise, food,
amusement, grouped themselves as secondary accessories. This was no
doubt in part a