been a little misunderstanding about
a hat----

SEL. (looking off). My wife! It's all over! (He collapses.)

Enter MRS. SELWYN, L. U. E.

MRS. S. Oh! I beg pardon! I thought you were alone.

SEL. (confused). So I am--no, I mean--I wish I were!

MRS. S. Do I disturb you?

BLITH. Not at all, ma'am, its only about----

SEL. (anxiously interrupting). Somebody is calling you, dear!

MRS. S. I don't think so! (To BLITHERS.) What were you
saying, sir?

BLITH. It's merely a mistake about a hat.

SEL. (aside). Would it were down his throat!

BLITH. I want my own in exchange!

MRS. S. Of course, my husband explained all about it,
in fact, he was going to send it back!

SEL. (anxious to get rid of him). Oh, yes! You may rely
on having it sent back, so if you will----(points to door,
BLITHERS is about to go.)

MRS. S. No! The gentleman had better wait now. Pray sit down,
sir, Mr. Bellamy will return soon with your hat.

BLITH. Oh, thank you, ma'am! (Crosses R., to table.)

MRS. S. He does not _look_ like a poet, but who can judge
by outward appearances?

BLITH. (aside). Why does she examine me so minutely? This
is a funny family!

MRS. S. I presume you belong to the same club as my husband,
since you exchanged hats.

BLITH. Oh, no! I don't belong----

SEL. (aside to BLITHERS). Don't deny it unless you would
ruin me.

BLITH. (aside). I see! He doesn't want it known that he
dined out at the Dobbinson's last night!

MRS. S. (sentimentally to BLITHERS). I wish ladies were
allowed to frequent clubs. I would give the world to mix
amongst authors, painters and poets. (Pointedly.) Oh, how I
have longed to know a real live poet!

BLITH. I dare say, ma'am!

MRS. S. (aside). He seemed to start at the word! I will
draw him out! (Aloud.) I have read your last book, and oh! it
is delightful!

BLITH. (aside). She means my "Treatise on Penmanship."
(Aloud.) I have had many testimonials from former pupils!

MRS. S. (aside). A poet take pupils! (Aloud.) Do you really
mean to say you can teach people to write as beautifully as
you do?

BLITH. (proudly). Much better! My hand is not so steady as
it was twenty years ago!

MRS. S. I am indeed glad to have met you, I once saw the
top of Alfred Tennyson's head from a balcony, and Swinburne's
boots outside his door at a Parisian hotel, but I never actually
_spoke_ to a great writer before!

BLITH. Oh, ma