nd
grab this good old magazine, and leave the world of bran and hay.
Through Arctic wildernesses cold, I follow the explorers' train, or
seeking go for pirate's gold along the storied Spanish Main. Oft, by
the miner's struggling lamp, I count the nuggets I have won; or in the
cowboys' wind-swept camp indulge in wild athletic fun. The big round
world is all for me, brought to me by the sprightly tale; o'er every
strange and distant sea my phantom ship has learned to sail, I travel
in all neighborhoods where daring man has left his tracks; I am the
hunter in the woods, I am the woodman with his ax. I am the grim,
effective sleuth who goes forth in a rare disguise, and quickly drags
the shining truth from out a mountain range of lies. I am the watcher
of the roads, the highwayman of wold and moor, relieving rich men of
their loads, to give a rakeoff to the poor. I am the hero of the
crowds, as, on my trusty aeroplane, I cleave a pathway through the
clouds, to Milky Way and Charles's Wain. I am the pitcher known to
fame; I pitch as though I worked by Steam, and in the last and crucial
game I win the pennant for my team. I am the white man's final hope,
on whom his aspirations hinge, and, notwithstanding all the dope, I
knock the daylights from the dinge.

I am the man of action when, with lamplight gloating o'er the scene, I
bask at leisure in my den, and read my fav'rite magazine. And so all
day I stay at home attending to the treadmill grind; but when night
comes afar I roam, and leave the workday world behind.

HUNTING A JOB

"I would like a situation. I have hunted for it long," said a youth
who looked discouraged; "everything that is is wrong; there is no
demand for labor, no respect for willing hands, hence the people who
are idle are as frequent as the sands. I have waited in the pool hall
through the long and weary day, and no lucrative position seemed to
come along that way; I have stood upon the corner, smoking at my trusty
cob, but no merchant came to hire me, though all knew I had no job; I
have sat on every doorstep that against me wasn't fenced, you could
scarcely find a building that I haven't leaned against; I have smoked a
thousand stogies, I have chewed a cord of plug, I have shaken dice with
dozens, I have touched each cider jug, to sustain my drooping spirits
while I waited for a berth, with some up-to-date employer who'd
appreciate my worth. But the world is out of kilter and the cou