il and stress with the darned old press
That always refused to work!

I soothe my face with a rich cigar and ride around in a motor car; I go
to a swell cafe to dine and soak my works in the rarest wine. Oh,
nothing's too rich for your Uncle Jones, whose check is good for a heap
of bones!

But, oh, for the old, old shop,
Where I set up the auction bills,
And printed an ad of a liver pad,
And took out the pay in pills!

I've won the prize in the worldly game, my name's inscribed on the roll
of fame; my home is stately, in stately grounds, I have my yacht and I
ride to hounds; nothing I've longed for has been denied; is it any
wonder I point with pride?

But, oh, for the old, old shop,
In the dusty Punktown street!
I was full of hope as I wrote my dope,
Though I hadn't enough to eat!

YOUTHFUL GRIEVANCES

"My lads," quoth the father, "come forth to the garden, and merrily
work in the glow of the sun; to loiter about is a crime beyond pardon,
when there's so much hoeing that has to be done! It pains me to mark
that you'd fain be retreating away from the hoes and such weapons as
these; you're diligent, though, when the time comes for eating the
turnips and lettuce and cabbage and peas."

"Alas," sigh the boys, "that our father must work us like galley
slaves, thus, at the hoe and the spade! More fortunate lads all have
gone to the circus, they revel in peanuts and pink lemonade! Oh, what
is the profit of pruning and trimming, and sowing the radish, and
planting the yam, when everyone knows there is excellent swimming two
miles up the creek at the foot of the dam?

"Sail in!" cries the parent, "the daytime is speeding, the night will
be here in the space of three shakes! Oh, this is the season for
digging and seeding, for doing great deeds with the long-handled rakes!
Consider the maxims of Franklin, the printer, the rede of the prophets,
of poets who sing; in comfort they live through the stress of the
winter, who toil like the ants or the bees in the spring!"

"For maxims and proverbs it's little we're wishing," the boys mutter
low, as they wearily delve; "the neighbor boy says there is elegant
fishing--he went after catfish and came home with twelve. We have to
stay here doing labors that cramp us, while others are pulling out fish
by the pound! They're playing baseball every day on the campus, and
down in the grove there's a merry-go-round!"

Alack! If the par