woodchuck bit seven sleeping children, or something of that kind. So
infinitely much happens, and so infinitely much does not happen, that
an honest newspaper man ought never to be without news.

BELLMAUS.

Give it here, I will change it.

[_Goes to the table, looks into a printed sheet, cuts a clipping from
it with large shears, and pastes it on the copy of the newspaper._]

BOLZ.

That's right, my son, so do, and mend thy ways.

[_Opening the door on the right._]

Kaempe, can you come in a moment? (_To_ MILLER, _who is waiting at the
door._) Take that proof straight to the press!

[MILLER _takes the sheet from_ BELLMAUS _and hurries off._]

_Enter_ KAeMPE.

KAeMPE.

But I can't write anything decent while you are making such a noise.

BOLZ.

You can't? What have you just written, then? At most, I imagine, a
letter to a ballet-dancer or an order to your tailor.

BELLMAUS.

No, he writes tender letters. He is seriously in love, for he took me
walking in the moonlight yesterday and scorned the idea of a drink.

KAeMPE (_who has seated himself comfortably_).

Gentlemen, it is unfair to call a man away from his work for the sake
of making such poor jokes.

BOLZ.

Yes, yes, he evidently slanders you when he maintains that you love
anything else but your new boots and to some small degree your own
person. You yourself are a love-spurting nature, little Bellmaus. You
glow like a fusee whenever you see a young lady. Spluttering and smoky
you hover around her, and yet don't dare even to address her. But we
must be lenient with him; his shyness is to blame. He blushes in
woman's presence, and is still capable of lovely emotions, for he
started out to be a lyric poet.

BELLMAUS.

I don't care to be continually reproached with my poems. Did I ever
read them to you?

BOLZ.

No, thank Heaven, that audacity you never had. (_Seriously._) But,
now, gentlemen, to business. Today's number is ready. Oldendorf is not
yet here, but meanwhile, let us hold a confidential session. Oldendorf
_must_ be chosen deputy from this town to the next Parliament; our
party and the _Union must_ put that through. How does our stock stand
today?

KAeMPE.

Remarkably high. Our opponents agree that no other candidate would be
so dangerous for them, and our friends everywhere are most hopeful.
But you know how little that may signify. Here is the list of the
voters. Our election committee sends word to you that our calcula