in the story. If it were for the first time in fiction that
a secret is learnt by some one hiding behind some pantomime plants
in a conservatory, then too much praise could not be bestowed on the
ingenious devisers of so strong and original a situation. But as "we
know that situation,--he comes from Sheffield," and as it has done
duty some scores of times before, on or off the stage, why, the
thoroughgoing novel-reader shakes his head and asks, "Couldn't they
have devised something better than this between them?" "I expected
much from this combination in Authorship, and am disappointed," says
the candid BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

* * * * *

[Illustration: WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE NEWLY-MARRIED ONE)
HAS TO PUT UP WITH.

_Our Artist_. "JUST LOOK, DARLING! I WAS SHORT OF CANVASSES, SO I'VE
STRETCHED A CLEAN POCKET-HANDKERCHIEF!--SEE HOW SPLENDIDLY IT TAKES
THE PAINT!"

_His Prudent Little Wife._. "OH, JOHN DEAR, HOW EXTRAVAGANT OF YOU!
_IT'LL NEVER COME OUT!_"]

* * * * *

THE ADOPTED CHILD.

"Last year the CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER frittered away his
resources in a number of small remissions, for which hardly
anyone was grateful. This year he squanders the greater
part of his surplus in providing for Free, or--as the phrase
is--Assisted Education--an innovation for which there is
hardly any genuine demand, and which a very large class of the
community, including many of the most loyal supporters of the
Government, view with rooted distrust."--_The Standard_.

MRS. GAMP (_the "Old Regular_") _loquitur_:--

"More changes, too, to come afore we have done with changes!"
Ah! I said that to good Mister MOULD years agone; which 'ow memory
ranges
All over them dear "Good Old Times," as I wish them wos back agen,
bless 'em!
Which the new ones ain't much to _my_ mind; there's too many fresh
"monthlies" to mess 'em.
No; monthlying ain't wot it were; the perfession's too open, a lump.
Nusses now ain't no more like old SAIREY, no not than the old Aldgit
Pump.
Like the Cristial Palluses fountings; A Pilgjian's Projiss is life,
And a Nuss ain't no more _like_ a Nuss than a Wife now resembles a
Wife.

Heigho! Which it's no use a frettin'. But _Fondlings_! Ah, well, I
_did_ think
Our respectable fam'lies, _though_ mixed, from sich ojus demeaning
would shrink,
Which no greater hinsult to _me_