* *

TOMMY ATKINS'S HARD LOT.

"TOMMY ATKINS," writing modestly enough to the _Daily Chronicle_ of
the 6th February, complains that the coal supplied by the Authorities
for barrack-rooms, is so limited in quantity that "during the winter
this, as a rule, only lasts about two days" in the week, and TOMMY
and his comrades have to "club-up" to supply the deficiency out of
their own microscopical pay. "In fact" (says T.A.) "I have been in
barrack-rooms where the men have had no fires after the first two
days of the week." _If_ this be so, _Mr. Punch_ agrees with TOMMY in
saying, "Surely this ought not to be!" TOMMY ATKINS may reasonably be
expected to "stand fire" at any season, but not the absence of it in
such wintry weather as we have had recently!

If this is poor TOMMY ATKINS's lot,
As TOMMY might say, It is all Tommy-rot!

* * * * *

COLUMBIA ON HER SPARROW.

(_WITH APOLOGIES TO WILLIAM CARTWRIGHT._)

["The Americans have had enough of the Sparrow (_Passer
domesticus_), and the mildest epithet reserved for him seems
to be that of 'pest.'"--_Daily Chronicle_.]

Tell me not of joy,--a hum!
Now the British Sparrow's come.
Sent first was he
Across the sea,
Advisers kind did flatter me,
When he winged way o'er Yankee soil,
My caterpillar swarms he'd spoil;
And oh, how pleasant that would be!

He would catch a grub, and then
_It_ would never feed again.
My fields he'd skip,
And peck, and nip,
And on the caterpillars feed;
And nought should crawl, or hop, or run
When he his hearty meal had done.
Alas! it was a sell, indeed!

O'er my fields he makes his flight,
In numbers almost infinite;
A plague, alas!
That doth surpass
The swarming caterpillar crew.
What I did I much regret;
_Passer_ is multiplying yet;
Check him I can't. What shall I do?

The British Sparrow won't depart,
His feathered legions break my heart.
Would _he_ away
I would not, nay!
About mere caterpillars fuss.
Patience with grubs and moths were mine,
Would _he_ but pass across the brine.
_I_ call _Passer Domestic Cuss_!

* * * * *

"HERE WE HARE AGAIN!"--There are two Johnnies on the stage. JOHNNY
Senior being J.L. TOOLE (now on his way home from New Zealand), and
JOHNNY Junior, JOHN HARE, both