hese overpaid officials.

The Chairman here asked the speaker if he had considered that
"descending" from a carriage was necessarily connected with the
teaching of Deportment, on which the Board set great value? Was he
not aware that some great man had said, wishing to give Deportment its
proper weight as an educational factor, that the Battle of Waterloo
(at least he thought he was quoting correctly) was won at Almacks?
(_Renewed laughter._) Anyhow, he did not consider that L2,500 a-year,
and a house in Mayfair, was at all an excessive remuneration for a
School-Board teacher, as measured by the Board's standard. He thought,
if that was all the Deputation had to urge, that they might have saved
themselves the trouble their protest had cost them.

The Spokesman having for a few moments consulted with his colleagues,
hereupon turned to the Chairman, and delivering with fearful emphasis
the customary curse on the School Board, its Chairman, and all its
belongings, at the same time thanking the Chairman for his courteous
reception of the Deputation, silently and sulkily withdrew.

* * * * *

DRURIOLANUS AND DANCING.--The Fancy Dress Ball--not a "Ball
Marsky"--at Covent Garden, last Tuesday week, was a great success,
on which DRURIOLANUS FORTUNATUS is hereby congratulated. There is to
be a similar festivity, to celebrate _Mi-Careme_. Quite appropriate
this date, when the season is half Lent, and the costumes almost all
borrowed.

* * * * *

[Illustration: AN APPEAL CASE, HOUSE OF LORDS.]

* * * * *

TO MR. RUDYARD KIPLING.

["Every minute of my time during 1891 is already mortgaged. In
1892 you may count upon me."--_Mr. KIPLING to Magazine Editor,
who wished to secure him as a Contributor_.]

Oh, happy man! for whom this world of ours
Is but a ceaseless round of milk and honey,
Who use your wondrous word-compelling powers
For us in telling tales (and making money),

How you must laugh to rake the dollars in,
The publishers--how badly you must bleed them;
Your tales _are_ good, but yet, ere you begin
On more, just think of us who've got to read them.

It frightens us to hear your Ninety-One
Is mortgaged--for the prospect's _not_ inviting,
To think of all that may and will be done,
If, through the present year you ne'er cease writing!

With bated breath we ask, and hum