ain loaded with passengers at the
rate of thirty to a carriage designed for eight, can be shunted into
a siding so as to clear an express moving at a constant velocity of
fifty miles an hour, drinks included. The pace of the excursion train
may be neglected in the solution of the problem.

* * * * *

"I have never understood," says a Correspondent, who signs himself
"PUZZLED," "why a dog should always use his left hind-leg for the
purpose of scratching his left ear, and _vice versa_ his right leg for
his right ear. Can any of your readers enlighten me?"

* * * * *

GROSVENOR GEMS. (SECOND VISIT.)

[Illustration: No. 180. Littler and Littler.]

[Illustration: No. 36. W. Qrious Jaundiceson, R.A.]

[Illustration: No. 140. "Mr. Stanley, I presume?"]

[Illustration: No. 102. Marvellous Acrobatic Feat.]

[Illustration: No. 109. The Dairy Maid and the Butteries.]

* * * * *

EXCHELSIOR!

TOLD that I can "assist the progress of Military Science" if I go up
in a "War Balloon" at Chelsea. Don't know anything about ballooning,
but do want to assist Military Science.

Arrive at Chelsea Exhibition Grounds. See the Balloon being inflated.
Disappointed, as a "War Balloon" seems to be exactly the same as a
Peace Balloon. Expected it to be armour-plated, or fitted with aerial
torpedoes, or something of that sort. Ask Professional Aeronaut if I
mayn't take a bomb up with me, and drop it, as practice for war time?
Aeronaut scowls fiercely. Asks, "If I want to blow the Balloon to
smithereens?" Also asks, "If I have any bombs about me now?" Looks as
if he would like to search me! Drop the subject--not the bomb. Still,
I _should_ like to know how I can "assist Military Science." Take my
place in car nervously.

Somebody shouts, "Let go!" What an extraordinary sensation! Feel as if
I had suddenly left digestive portion of my anatomy a mile below me.
Have felt same sort of thing in crossing Channel. Look over edge
of car. Appalling! Wish I hadn't been such a fool as to come. Ask
Professional Aeronaut, "What would happen if a rope broke now?"
He replies, sulkily, "your neck would break too." Not comforting.
Question is--How long will this last without my being sea-sick?

Also, How am I "assisting progress of Military Science?" Balloon
calmer, and _not_ wobbling, thank Heaven! Begin to enjoy the view. How
beastly cold it is up here, th