s trained charger, and exhibiting a form to
petrify the whole world with admiration.

"Ah! _there's_ shape!" was the low cry of the spectacled veterans, as
they gazed breathlessly at the picture.

Captain Bob Shorty cleaned his glasses to make sure that it was no
illusion, and says he: "By all that's Federal, it appears to me that I
never saw so much Shape!"

A Confederacy, who had just appeared on the roof of Paris with a
horse-pistol in his hand and slaughter in his thoughts, caught sight of
the equestrian vision, and instantly dropped his merciless weapon of
destruction as though paralyzed.

"Oh!" says he, panting, "what Shape!"

Rear Admiral Head heard the sound in the midst of his single combat,
and paused to ascertain what it was. His spectacles scanned the horizon
round and round, until they finally rested upon the figure of the new
General of the Mackerel Brigade.

"Fracture my armor!" says he, ecstatically, "did I ever survey so much
Shape!"

The battle was over for that day.

Shape, my boy, is a great thing in a General; for when Heaven's Great
Printer commenced to set human type in the "galley" of earth, He must
have needed considerable General matter to fully make up His "forms;"
and when a General has a form fully up to His make, we may consider him
well set up.

Yours, typographically,

ORPHEUS C. KERR.

LETTER LXXXV.

HOLDING THE GOVERNMENT STRICTLY ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE OCCURRENCE OF A
RECENT "MILITARY NECESSITY;" RECOUNTING THE AFFECTING EPISODE OF
THE MACKEREL DRUMMER-BOY; AND DEPICTING THE NEW MACKEREL GENERAL'S
FIRST GREAT BATTLE.

WASHINGTON, D.C., Feb. 9th, 1863.

I am no longer on speaking terms, my boy, with the Government of our
distracted country, and beg leave most respectfully to inform it that
the imbecile cold weather of the past few days may disgust, but can
never discourage me. Being of respectable though Democratic parentage,
I scorn to associate with an Executive and Cabinet so lost to all sense
of national comfort, that it permits the weather to become a constant
outrage on our Constitutions, frequently freezing loyal Democrats for
no other offence than that of protecting defenceless lampposts after
nightfall. I am very cold, my boy,--I am very cold, and my hatred of
the present Cabinet is intense.

But what shall I say about the agency of this same Government in
producing a Military Necessity at the late great battle of Paris? Let
me put on