Brown electrified the
whole nation with the magical words:

"'We have met the enemy, and they are hours--ahead of us.'

"The backbone of the Rebellion being thus broken, the General of
the Mackerel Brigade wrote to the Honest Abe at Washington, as
follows:

"'DEAR SIR,--I have at length successfully surprised the
stronghold of Manassas, and consider myself strong enough to
continue the war, if you can send me a few more troops. If you
can spare 60,000 under Sergeant O'Pake, and 50,000 under
Colonel Wobert Wobinson, from the defence of Washington, I can
wait for the other hundred thousand until I push forward again.

"'THE GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE.'

"This was on the fourth of April. Owing to the continual storms,
and the difficulty encountered in procuring umbrellas for the
troops, the Mackerel Brigade was enabled to advance but
thirty-three and a half feet during the ensuing four months, during
which time several State elections took place. On the Fourth of
July, the Honest Abe addressed the following: note to the General
of the Mackerel Brigade:

"'GENERAL,--By your plan of drawing troops away from Washington,
the capital would be left with fewer soldiers than it now
possesses; and if the capital is weakened, it follows very
clearly, that it will not be strengthened. My plan is directly
the reverse of your plan, so that your plan is immediately
opposite to my plan. Allow me to ask you the following
questions:

"'I. If your plan is different from my plan, how can my plan be
the same as your plan?

"'II. If my plan does not agree with your plan, wherein does
your plan assimilate with my plan?

"'III. If your plan and my plan are not the same plan, how can
my plan and your plan be one plan?

"'IV. If my plan, by opposing your plan, shows that my plan is
not at all like your plan, how can your plan, by differing from
my plan, save Washington according to my plan, which is not
your plan?

H. ABE.'

"Both plans were adopted, and in the course of the succeeding two
months the Mackerel Brigade shot a couple of Confederacies. Shortly
after this, it was decided that an advance should be made upon the
city of Paris by way of Duck Lake, the iro