Mugville expressly to be
present. There was the French Marquis Non Puebla, on a visit to this
country to search for traces of one of the lost gravies of Apicius;
Milord Gurgle, who had been deputed to convey to New York a pair of
Southdown sheep, presented by the Zoological Gardens to Central Park;
the Honorable Peter Pidger, who had once been to Europe to negotiate
the sale of some railroad stock; the Ambassador in person; and three
other respectable persons with no names, whose sole duty it was to
indorse the Ambassador whenever he said anything about "dat
signeeficant commencement of dees war at Bool Run." But the greatest of
them all, my boy, was the Venerable Gammon, who smiled fatly as they
drank his health, and emptied his own crystal with a soft benignity
which seemed to consecrate that brand of liquor forever.

"My friends," says the Venerable Gammon, waving an unctuous hand around
the board in a manner to confer blessings on the very nutcrackers,--"my
friends, I accept the honor for my country, and not for myself. Your
countries bask in the sunshine of a powerful peace, while mine grows
weak in despotic war. But do not spit upon us, my friends; do not crush
us. We will do whatever you want us to do. War," says the Venerable
Gammon, beaming thoughtfully at the nearest wine-cooler,--"war may be
called the temporary weakness of a young country like ours; and if we
learn not to value peace more than war as we grow older, it will only
be because we do not learn to value war less than peace as we advance
to riper years."

Then all the respectable middle-aged gentlemen nudged each other to
notice _that_; and the Honorable Peter Pidger observed, in an
undertone, to Milord Gurgle, that if the Government was only guided by
such wisdom as that, the country might yet hope for favor from Europe.

"Ah!" says the Ambassador, reflectively, "I cannot help to recollect
dat signeeficant commencement of dees war at Bool Run."

Whereupon the three middle-aged gentlemen with no names nodded
meaningly to each other, and murmured, in pitying chorus:

"Ah, yes indeed."

As I rode home to my hotel that night, my boy, and reflected upon the
polished observations I had listened to, it seemed to me that Europe
must indeed be superior to a weak young country like ours, and that
Secretary Seward was but showing a proper respect for the dignity of
monarchies in yielding gracefully to them whatever they asked, and
establishing in Ameri