ted. But
this was not all. I was lampooned, caricatured, and paragraphed in the
newspapers, in a thousand different ways. In the first, I was satirized
as the _fair_ dealer; in the second, I was represented as a wolf in
sheep's clothing; and in the last, I was hinted at as "a certain quiet
double-faced gentleman, not a hundred miles from hence."

But still this was not all. Two or three days after I had been waited on
by the Triteriteites, the same honour was done me by the Whiteites, and
with similar views. To the gentlemen of this party, I said precisely
what I had said to those of the opposite faction, and begged of them, in
heaven's name, to let me alone, and settle the matter amongst them as
they best could.

"Well," replied one of the gentlemen, when I had done, "I must say, I
did not expect this of you, Mr. B. I thought I could have reckoned
on your support; but it doesn't signify. We can secure Mr. White's
appointment without you. But I must say, if you had been the candid man
I took you for, you would have told me, ere this, that you meant to have
supported the other party. I really cannot think very highly, Mr. B., of
your conduct in this matter; but it doesn't signify, sir--it doesn't
signify. We now know who are our friends and who are not. Mr. Triterite,
you may depend upon it, will never get the church, even though he has
you to support him." Saying this, he turned on his heel and left me,
followed by his train, who, precisely as the others had done, muttered
as they went, "shabby fellow," "mean scamp," "shuffling conduct," "snake
in the grass" (favourite phrase this), &c. &c.

Well, my friends, here you see (said the melancholy gentleman), without
giving any one the smallest offence, and desiring nothing so much as
peace and the good will of my neighbours--here was I, I say, become
obnoxious to heaven knows how many people; for my reputation naturally
extended from the committees to the other members of the congregation,
and from them again to their friends and acquaintances; so that I had,
in the end, a pretty formidable array of enemies. The consequence of
this affair was, that I soon found myself compelled, from the petty
persecutions and annoyances of all sorts, to which I was subsequently
exposed, to leave the congregation altogether. However, to compensate
for all these troubles and vexations, I had the good fortune, about this
time, to become acquainted with a very amiable young lady, as peaceabl