s, I did endeavour to discharge the
duty of an honest man, in those services, to God and his
people's interest, and to the Commonwealth; having, when time
was, a competent acceptation in the hearts of men, and some
evidences thereof. I resolve not to recite the times, and
occasions, and opportunities, which have been appointed me by
God to serve him in; nor the presence and blessing of God,
therein bearing testimony to me.

"Having had some occasion to see, together with my brethren and
countrymen, a happy period put to our sharp wars and contests
with the then common enemy, I hoped, in a private capacity, to
have reaped the fruit and benefit, together with my brethren,
of our hard labours and hazards: the enjoyment, to wit, of
peace and liberty, and the privileges of a Christian and a man,
in some equality with others, according as it should please the
Lord to dispense unto me. And when I say God had put an end to
our wars, or at least brought them to a very hopeful issue,
very near an end,--after Worcester fight,--I came up to London
to pay my service and duty to the Parliament which then sat,
hoping that all minds would have been disposed to answer what
seemed to be the mind of God, namely, to give peace and rest to
his people, and especially to those who had bled more than
others in the carrying on of the military affairs,--I was much
disappointed of my expectation. For the issue did not prove so.
_Whatever may be boasted or misrepresented, it was not so, not
so!_

"I can say in the simplicity of my soul, I love not, I love
not,--I declined it in my former speech,--I say, I love not to
rake into sores, or to discover nakednesses! The thing I drive
at is this: I say to you, I hoped to have had leave to retire
to a private life. I begged to be dismissed of my charge; I
begged it again and again; and God be judge between me and all
men if I lie in this matter! That I lie not in matter of fact,
is known to very many; but whether I tell a lie in my heart, as
labouring to represent to you what was not upon my heart, I say
the Lord be judge. Let uncharitable men, who measure others by
themselves, judge as they please. As to the matter of fact, I
say it is true. As to the ingenuity and integrity of my heart
in that desire--I do appeal