omplete if you'd submitted
affidavits," says I. "And if you don't mind my sayin' so, Mr. Robert,
when it comes to the Romeo stuff, you're ten points off, with no bids."

Course that gets a squirm out of him, like I hoped it would. But he
don't blow out a fuse or anything. "Naturally," says he, "I am charmed
to hear such a frank estimate of myself. But suppose I am simply trying
to avoid the--the Romeo stuff, as you put it?"

"Gwan!" says I. "You're only kiddin' yourself. Come now, ain't you as
strong for Miss Hampton as ever?"

He stiffens up for a second; but then his shoulders sag. "Torchy," says
he, "your perceptions are altogether too acute. I admit it. But what's
the use? As you have so clearly pointed out, this little affair of mine
seems to be quite thoroughly ended."

"It is if you let things slide as they stand," says I.

"Eh?" says he, sort of eager. "You mean that she--that if----"

"Say," I breaks in, "do you want it straight from a rank amateur? Then
here goes. You don't gen'rally wait to have things handed to you on a
tray, do you? You ain't that kind. You go after 'em. And the harder you
want 'em the quicker you are on the grab. You don't stop to ask whether
you deserve 'em or not, either. You just stretch your fingers and sing
out, 'Hey, that's mine!' And if somebody or something's in the way, you
give 'em the shoulder. Well, that's my dope in this case. You ain't
goin' to get a young lady like Miss Hampton by doin' the long-distance
mope. You got to buck up. Rush her off her feet!"

"By Jove, though, Torchy," says he, bangin' his fist down on the table,
"I believe you're right! And I do want her. I've been afraid to say it,
that's all. But now----"

He squares his shoulders and sets his jaw solid.

"That's the slant!" says I. "And the sooner the quicker, you know."

"Yes, yes!" says he, jumpin' up. "Tonight! I--I'll write to her at
once."

"Ah, squiffle!" says I, indicatin' deep disgust.

Mr. Robert gazes at me astonished. "I beg pardon!" says he.

"Don't be a nut!" says I. "Excuse me if I seem to throw out any hints,
but maybe letter writin' ain't your long suit. Is it?"

"Why," says he, "I'm not sure, but I had an idea I could----"

"Maybe you can," says I; "but from the samples I've seen I should have
my doubts. You know this 'Yours of the steenth just received' and so on
may do for vice-presidents and gen'ral managers; but it's raw style to
spring on your best girl. Take it from me,