you went and----"

"Wasn't there some advice," he breaks in, "about using my arms?"

"Eh?" says I, gawpin' at him. "You--you didn't open the act by goin' to
a clinch, did you?"

He lets his chin drop and sort of shivers. "I'm afraid I did," says he.

"Z-z-z-zingo!" I gasps.

"You see, the part of your suggestions which impressed me most was
something to that effect, as I recall it. And then--oh, the deuce take
it, I lost my head! Anyway, the next I knew she was in my arms, and I--I
was----" He ends with a shoulder shrug and spreads out his hands. "I
thought you ought to know," he goes on, "that it isn't being done."

"But what then?" says I. "Did she hand you one?"

"No," says he. "She merely slipped away and--and stood laughing at me.
She hardly seemed indignant: just amused."

"Huh!" says I, starin' puzzled. "Then she ain't like any I ever heard of
before. Now accordin' to dope she'd either----"

"Miss Hampton is not a conventional young woman," says he. "She made
that quite plain. It seems, Torchy, that your--er--that my method was
somewhat crude and primitive. In fact, I believe she pointed out that
the customs of the Stone Age were obsolete. I was given to understand
that she was not to be won in any such manner. Perhaps you can imagine
that I was not thoroughly at ease after that."

And, honest, I'd never seen Mr. Robert when he was feelin' so low.

"Gee!" says I. "You didn't quit at that, did you?"

"Unfortunately no," says he. "Our caveman tactics having failed, I tried
the modern style--at least, I thought I was being modern. The usual
thing, you know."

"Eh?" says I. "Both knees on the rug and the reg'lar conservatory nook
wilt-thou-be-mine lines?"

"I spoke my piece standing," says he, "making it as impassioned and
eloquent as I knew how. Miss Hampton continued to be amused."

"Did you get any hint as to what was so funny about all that?" says I.

"It appears," says Mr. Robert, "that impassioned declarations are
equally out of date--early-Victorian, to quote Elsa exactly. Anyway, she
gave me to understand that while my love-making was somewhat
entertaining, it was hopelessly medieval. She very kindly explained that
undying affection, tender devotion, and the protection of manly arms
were all tommyrot; that she really didn't care to be enshrined queen of
anyone's heart or home. She wishes to avoid any step that may hinder the
development of her own personality. You--er--get that, I trust, To