ld be
attached to it. As three weeks passed and I heard nothing of it, I
concluded it had been broken open in the office and destroyed. To my
great surprise, last Fourth Day, Friend B. came to tell me a letter of
mine had been published in the Liberator. He was most exceeding tried
at my having written it, and also at its publication. He wished me to
re-examine the letter, and write to Wm. Lloyd Garrison, expressing
disapproval of its publication, and altering some portions of it. His
visit was, I believe, prompted by the affection he bears me, but he
appeared utterly incapable of understanding the depth of feeling under
which that letter was written. The editor's remarks were deeply trying
to him. Friend B. seemed to think they were the ravings of a fanatic,
and that the bare mention of my precious brother's name was a disgrace
to his character, when coupled with mine in such a cause and such a
paper, or rather in a cause advocated in such a way. I was so
astonished and tried that I hardly knew what to say. I declined,
however, to write to W.L.G., and said I felt willing to bear any
suffering, if it was only made instrumental of good. I felt my great
unworthiness of being used in such a work, but remembered that God hath
chosen the weak things of this world to confound the wise. But I was
truly miserable, believing my character was altogether gone among my
dearest, most valued friends. I was indeed brought to the brink of
despair, as the vilest of sinners. A little light dawned at last, as I
remembered how often I had told the Lord if He would only prepare me to
be, and make me, instrumental in the great work of emancipation, I
would be willing to bear any suffering, and the question arose, whether
this was not the peculiar kind allotted to me. Oh, the extreme pain of
extravagant praise! to be held up as a saint in a public newspaper,
before thousands of people, when I felt I was the chief of sinners.
Blushing, and confusion of face were mine, and I thought the walls of a
prison would have been preferable to such an exposure. Then, again, to
have my name, not so much my name as the name of Grimke, associated
with that of the despised Garrison, seemed like bringing disgrace upon
my family, not myself alone. I felt as though the name had been
tarnished in the eyes of thousands who had before loved and revered it.
I cannot describe the anguish of my soul Nevertheless, I could not
blame the publication of the letter, nor wo