er, that she prepared and committed her offerings to memory
before coming to meeting, an almost unpardonable offence according to
the views of those making the accusation. That her earnest denial of
this should be treated lightly was an additional wrong which Sarah
never entirely succeeded in forgiving. In reference to this she says:--

"The suffering passed through in meeting, on account of the ministry,
feeling as if I were condemned already whenever I arise; the severe
reproofs administered by an elder to whom I did a little look for
kindness; the cutting charge of preparing what I had to say out of
meeting, and going there to preach, instead of to worship, like poor
Mary Cox, was almost too much for me. It cost me hours of anguish; but
Jesus allayed the storm and gave me peace; for in looking at my poor
services I can truly say it is not so, although my mind is often
brought under exercise on account of this work, and many are the
sleepless hours I pass in prayer for preservation in it, feeling it
indeed an awful thing to be a channel of communication between God and
His people."

Referring to the charge again, some time later, she says:--

"There are times when I greatly fear my best life will perish in this
conflict. I have felt lately as if I were ready to give up all, and to
question all I have known and done."

As contrasting with the very different opinions she held a few years
later, the following lines from her diary, about the beginning of 1830,
are interesting:--

"There are seasons when my heart is so filled with apostolic love that
I feel as if I could freely part with all I hold most dear, to be
instrumental to the salvation of souls, especially those of the members
of my own religious society; and the language often prevails, 'I am not
sent but to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.' Yet woman's
preaching mocks at all my reasoning. I cannot see it to be right, and I
am moving on in faith alone, feeling that 'Woe is me, if I preach not
the Gospel.' To see is no part of my business, but I marvel not at the
unbelief of others; every natural feeling is against it."

About this time, Angelina was admitted as a member of Friends' Society,
and began her preparation for the ministry. But her active spirit
needed stronger food to satisfy its cravings. It was not enough for her
to accept the few duties assigned to her; she must make others for
herself. Her restless energy, which was only her ambition to