fellows knew what I meant. The end of it was I brought
away more than a thousand dollars' worth out of the convent, to say
nothing of the fun, which will tell its own story in due time.

RAZ. (stamping on the ground). Hang it, that I should be absent on
such an occasion.

SPIEGEL. Do you see? Now tell me, is not that life? 'Tis that which
keeps one fresh and hale, and braces the body so that it swells hourly
like an abbot's paunch; I don't know, but I think I must be endowed with
some magnetic property, which attracts all the vagabonds on the face of
the earth towards me like steel and iron.

RAZ. A precious magnet, indeed. But I should like to know, I'll be
hanged if I shouldn't, what witchcraft you use?

SPIEGEL. Witchcraft? No need of witchcraft. All it wants is a head--a
certain practical capacity which, of course, is not taken in with every
spoonful of barley meal; for you know I have always said that an honest
man may be carved out of any willow stump, but to make a rogue you must
have brains; besides which it requires a national genius--a certain
rascal-climate--so to speak.*

*[In the first (and suppressed) edition was added, "Go to the
Grisons, for instance; that is what I call the thief's Athens."
This obnoxious passage has been carefully expunged from all the
subsequent editions. It gave mortal offence to the Grison
magistrates, who made a formal complaint of the insult and caused
Schiller to be severely rebuked by the Grand Duke. This incident
forms one of the epochs in our author's history.]

RAZ. Brother, I have heard Italy celebrated for its artists.

SPIEGEL. Yes, yes! Give the devil his due. Italy makes a very noble
figure; and if Germany goes on as it has begun, and if the Bible gets
fairly kicked out, of which there is every prospect, Germany, too, may
in time arrive at something respectable; but I should tell you that
climate does not, after all, do such a wonderful deal; genius thrives
everywhere; and as for the rest, brother, a crab, you know, will never
become a pineapple, not even in Paradise. But to pursue our subject,
where did I leave off?

RAZ. You were going to tell me about your stratagems.

SPIEGEL. Ah, yes! my stratagems. Well, when you get into a town, the
first thing is to fish out from the beadles, watchmen, and turnkeys, who
are their best customers, and for these, accordingly, you must look out;
then ensconce yourself snugly in coffee-houses, brothels,