and Dorothy, and I may create a feud against me
that will follow me for years ... yet this man must die. And I drew my
pistol and fired ... Lamborn sank to the ground without a groan. Some of
the McCall boys ran out. I fired at them. They fled. I walked forward a
step or two. Then I asked Reverdy if he had seen Lamborn reach for his
pistol. Reverdy had seen this. I had not. In fact, Lamborn did nothing
of the sort. But if Reverdy saw this he could swear to it and help me.
The excitement of the precise moment was now over. I felt weak and
anxious. I wanted to see Douglas. As state's attorney he could help me.
Douglas was soon on the scene. He had heard what I had done. I wanted
to talk with him. He waved me off saying: "You must have counsel of your
own. You must not talk to me. I would be compelled in the discharge of
my duty to use against you anything you might tell me." With that he
walked away.

He could not be my friend in this hour of need! What was I to do? Yes,
there was Reverdy. But when it came to the matter of locking me up
Douglas said: "If Mr. Clayton signs the bond ... make the bond $1000 ...
don't lock him up. Get a coroner's jury."

There was not a member of this jury who had not been exposed to some of
this vile talk about Zoe and me, in the general contagion of the village
gossip. How should this examination be managed? Of course the single
question, they told me, was the manner of Lamborn's meeting his death.
But the coroner's jury had the power to bind me to the grand jury for an
indictment, and that I wished to escape. Well, I had been threatened, to
be sure. But why? If Lamborn wanted Zoe and I had her in my house and
kept him from seeing her, was it for a good or a selfish reason? Were we
not rivals for the same favor? Did one have her and one lose her? Had I
killed Lamborn for jealousy, or in self-defense? The single fact that I
had shot him stood against the background of all this gossip and village
understanding, and was necessarily read into it for my undoing or my
freedom.

There was the note that Lamborn had written Zoe! That proved that
Lamborn was seeking her; but it might be used to prove that I resented
his pursuit. And why? As Zoe's brother, or as her unnatural lover? My
brain was in a whirl. I could not think for myself. I talked these
subjects over with Reverdy and with Mr. Brooks, who was my counsel. All
these things were done the day of the killing. The next morning, with
the bod