Creole beauties, negroes, planters, roughs, gamblers, passed me. The
streets were noisy with trucks. The air was hot and lifeless. The scene
about me suspired like the brilliant and deadly scales of a poisonous
reptile. I was sick at heart. I was overcome with terrible loneliness. I
was in love with Dorothy and I was Zoe's brother. I was caught in this
great dramatic ordeal of America without any fault on my part. What
should I do? Yes, my ambition. To get rich. That was labor enough. And
there was my farm back in Illinois. Why was I here after all? Was it
some dream? I would wake myself. I would return to my place, my duty.
What else could I do? I went to the wharf to find a boat to St. Louis.

CHAPTER XIX

I was listless all the way home. Passing through Jacksonville I seemed
to sense a coldness in the manner of some of the people. Even where
there was a smile and a bow, to which I could take no exception, I
interpreted an attitude which said: "The Englishman: the fellow who
killed Lamborn."

Was the town dividing as to me? I was sure of Reverdy and Sarah, and
Douglas, and the president of the college and his wife, and some others;
but for the rest I suspected that envy had seized upon a pretext for its
exercise. For I was rich; I had availed myself of mowers and all the new
machinery for farming and I was a competitor, a man possibly growing
more and more in the way. My reception in many quarters seemed distant.

I went directly to the farm. There was my house which I had built with
many hopes. There was the hearth to which I longed to bring a wife. But
here it was, only for me, for my habitation and rest from labors in the
ambition to be rich! Mrs. Brown opened the door and welcomed me with a
diffidence. "Where is Zoe?" I asked. Mrs. Brown replied quickly: "Zoe
has not been seen nor heard of for more than a week. I got up one
morning, and as she didn't appear I went and called her. She was gone.
I saw Mr. Clayton about it. The last I heard no one had seen her."

My feelings were mixed of regret and relief. I was fond of Zoe. My sense
of justice was enlisted in her behalf. I was fearful for her future,
both for the misfortune that might befall her and for the complications
that might accrue to me in her living away from my guidance. For there
was Zoe's property. But on the other hand, if Zoe were completely out of
my life I might win Dorothy.

I walked reflectively toward the fireplace. Should I not writ