when I
returned. I must tell you that Zoe disappeared in my absence. I don't
know where and cannot learn. I am fearful for her; and there are many
possible complications. But I am powerless to do anything at this time.
She may never return. She may fall into strange hands and make some new
relations which will come back upon me and upon any one I cared for with
embarrassing results. I am in a position where I can make no assurances.
I feel like asking you to forgive me for causing you any suffering or
anxiety. I should not have asked you to marry me. It was thoughtless;
but I could not with my experience and knowledge of things understand
all that my request might mean. As you are Reverdy's sister I can't help
but feel a tender and protecting interest in you, whatever may come of
it. And I hope life may deal with both of us in such a way that any harm
I have done you will be overcome by some good that I may be to you. And
without asking to see you again I still keep the hope that fate will be
good enough to let me meet you sometime when a clasp of the hand will be
welcome to you and with no consequences that are not pleasant."

And then I sealed the letter for mailing and retired; but not to sleep,
rather to turn restlessly for some hours in the night.

CHAPTER XXI

Fortunately for my peace of mind I had much to do and much to interest
me. The country was developing rapidly under my eyes. Thousands of farms
were coming into cultivation. The prairie grass was vanishing before the
corn. Villages were springing up everywhere. Jacksonville was growing. A
furor of land selling, the selling of lots and blocks in the newly
formed towns, swept over the state. And my own farm had increased in
value, both because of the care I had given it and because of the
growing population. For in truth, while Illinois had about 160,000
inhabitants when I came to it, now as we approached the year 1837 it was
estimated that there were nearly 400,000 souls within its borders.

Douglas had no sooner become a member of the legislature, as it seemed
to me, than he resigned to take the office of register of land in
Springfield, which was now the capital of the state. He was reported to
me to be making a great deal of money now, sometimes as much as $100 a
day. I saw him in the summer. He was a figure of dash, self-possession,
energy and clear-headedness. He confided to me that he intended to run
for Congress. He was now twenty-four, a p