d I been cast on a luxuriant island, growing fruits and
flowers, and inhabited at least by animals--how different would it have
been! But here there was nothing to save the mind from madness--merely a
tiny strip of sand, invisible a few hundred yards out at sea.

When the fits of depression came upon me I invariably concluded that life
was unbearable, and would actually rush into the sea, with the deliberate
object of putting an end to myself. At these times my agony of mind was
far more dreadful that any degree of physical suffering could have been,
and death seemed to have a fascination for me that I could not resist.
Yet when I found myself up to my neck in water, a sudden revulsion of
feeling would come over me, and instead of drowning myself I would
indulge in a swim or a ride on a turtle's back by way of diverting my
thoughts into different channels.

Bruno always seemed to understand when I had an attack of melancholia,
and he would watch my every movement. When he saw me rushing into the
water, he would follow at my side barking and yelling like a mad thing,
until he actually made me forget the dreadful object I had in view. And
we would perhaps conclude by having a swimming race. These fits of
depression always came upon me towards evening, and generally about the
same hour.

In spite of the apparent hopelessness of my position, I never
relinquished the idea of escaping from the island some day, and
accordingly I started building a boat within a month of my shipwreck.

Not that I knew anything whatever about boat-building; but I was
convinced that I could at least make a craft of some sort that would
float. I set to work with a light heart, but later on paid dearly for my
ignorance in bitter, bitter disappointment and impotent regrets. For one
thing, I made the keel too heavy; then, again, I used planks that were
absurdly thick for the shell, though, of course, I was not aware of these
things at the time. The wreck, of course, provided me with all the
woodwork I required. In order to make the staves pliable, I soaked them
in water for a week, and then heated them over a fire, afterwards bending
them to the required shape. At the end of nine months of unremitting
labour, to which, latterly, considerable anxiety--glorious hopes and
sickening fears--was added, I had built what I considered a substantial
and sea-worthy sailing boat, fully fifteen feet long by four feet wide.
It was a heavy ungainly loo