your Wine, by
pushing the Bottle further than is necessary.

Now to fix a certain Stint to your Cups, I allow you never to drink
till your Head becomes giddy, and your Feet begin to totter.

Beware of Quarrels, which are often occasioned by Wine. Let not your
Hands be too ready to strike in your Cups.

Remember the old Story of the Wedding of _Pyrothous_[48] and many more
where drunken Fools by being quarrelsome in their Liquor have come
short home. A Drinking Bout is in Reality a properer Scene for Joke
and Mirth, than for Fighting.

I proceed to other Lessons[49]. If you have a Voice, then sing; if you
have handsome Legs, cut Capers, or slide into the Minuet Step. In
short, endeavour to please your Mistress, by exerting those Talents in
which Nature hath given you to excel.

Now, as real Drunkenness may be hurtful to you, so you may sometimes
reap Advantages by pretending yourself in Liquor, by Stammering or
Lisping a little slyly: For then if you should descend to some
Expressions of the grosser Kind, it will be imputed to your having
taken a Cup too much.

Drink Bumpers to the Health of your Mistress, and of the Gentleman
with whom she is obliged to sleep; but I do not insist on your being
extremely sincere on this Occasion: for you may heartily wish him
hanged at the same Time, if you please.

When the Company rises to go away, there is always a Confusion in the
Room, of which you may take Advantage. You may then creep close up to
your Mistress, may perhaps palm her, and gently tread on her Toes.

Whenever you have an Opportunity of speaking to her privately, be not
bashful like a Country Boobily Squire. Remember Fortune and Love both
favour the Bold.

I do not intend to lay down any Rules for your Oratory on this
Occasion. Do but begin boldly, and you will be Eloquent of course: Set
this only before you, that you are to act the Part of a Lover, to talk
of Wounds and Darts, and Dying and Despair, and all that, as Mr.
_Bayes_ says: For if you can once make her believe you are in Love,
your Business is done. To create therefore this Faith in her, you
must employ every Art of which you are Master.

Nor is this indeed so difficult a Task: For every Woman believes
herself to be the Object of Love; be she never so ugly, she is still
amiable in her own Eye.

Sometimes indeed no Deceit is in the End put on the Woman, for her
pretended Lover becomes often a real one, and is the very Creature
which he before p