our breasts over our benevolent hearts, we stuck up the great placard we
had made with 'Benevolent Bar. Free Drinks to all Weary Travellers', in
white wadding on red calico, like Christmas decorations in church. We
had meant to fasten this to the edge of the awning, but we had to pin
it to the front of the tablecloth, because I am sorry to say the awning
went wrong from the first. We could not drive the willow poles into the
road; it was much too hard. And in the ditch it was too soft, besides
being no use. So we had just to cover our benevolent heads with our
hats, and take it in turns to go into the shadow of the tree on the
other side of the road. For we had pitched our table on the sunny side
of the way, of course, relying on our broken-reed-like awning, and
wishing to give it a fair chance.

Everything looked very nice, and we longed to see somebody really
miserable come along so as to be able to allieve their distress.

A man and woman were the first: they stopped and stared, but when Alice
said, 'Free drinks! Free drinks! Aren't you thirsty?' they said, 'No
thank you,' and went on. Then came a person from the village--he didn't
even say 'Thank you' when we asked him, and Oswald began to fear it
might be like the awful time when we wandered about on Christmas Day
trying to find poor persons and persuade them to eat our Conscience
pudding.

But a man in a blue jersey and a red bundle eased Oswald's fears by
being willing to drink a glass of lemonade, and even to say, 'Thank you,
I'm sure' quite nicely.

After that it was better. As we had foreseen, there were plenty of
thirsty people walking along the Dover Road, and even some from the
cross-road.

We had had the pleasure of seeing nineteen tumblers drained to the dregs
ere we tasted any ourselves. Nobody asked for tea.

More people went by than we gave lemonade to. Some wouldn't have it
because they were too grand. One man told us he could pay for his own
liquor when he was dry, which, praise be, he wasn't over and above, at
present; and others asked if we hadn't any beer, and when we said 'No',
they said it showed what sort we were--as if the sort was not a good
one, which it is.

And another man said, 'Slops again! You never get nothing for nothing,
not this side of heaven you don't. Look at the bloomin' blue ribbon on
'em! Oh, Lor'!' and went on quite sadly without having a drink.

Our Pig-man who helped us on the Tower of Mystery day went by and we