ompetent corporals
going for a song. And we have a very nice colonel, too quiet to ride or
drive.'

Oswald does not mind chaff at proper times. But this was not one.

'You seem to be taking it very easy,' he said with disdainful
expression.

'This IS an easy,' said the grey soldier, sucking at his pipe to see if
it would draw.

'I suppose YOU don't care if the enemy gets into Maidstone or not!'
exclaimed Oswald bitterly. 'If I were a soldier I'd rather die than be
beaten.'

The soldier saluted. 'Good old patriotic sentiment' he said, smiling at
the heart-felt boy.

But Oswald could bear no more. 'Which is the Colonel?' he asked.

'Over there--near the grey horse.'

'The one lighting a cigarette?' H. O. asked.

'Yes--but I say, kiddie, he won't stand any jaw. There's not an ounce of
vice about him, but he's peppery. He might kick out. You'd better bunk.'

'Better what?' asked H. O.

'Bunk, bottle, scoot, skip, vanish, exit,' said the soldier.

'That's what you'd do when the fighting begins,' said H. O. He is often
rude like that--but it was what we all thought, all the same.

The soldier only laughed.

A spirited but hasty altercation among ourselves in whispers ended in
our allowing Alice to be the one to speak to the Colonel. It was she who
wanted to. 'However peppery he is he won't kick a girl,' she said, and
perhaps this was true.

But of course we all went with her. So there were six of us to stand
in front of the Colonel. And as we went along we agreed that we would
salute him on the word three. So when we got near, Dick said, 'One,
two, three', and we all saluted very well--except H. O., who chose that
minute to trip over a rifle a soldier had left lying about, and was only
saved from falling by a man in a cocked hat who caught him deftly by the
back of his jacket and stood him on his legs.

'Let go, can't you,' said H. O. 'Are you the General?'

Before the Cocked Hat had time to frame a reply, Alice spoke to the
Colonel. I knew what she meant to say, because she had told me as we
threaded our way among the resting soldiery. What she really said was--

'Oh, how CAN you!'

'How can I WHAT?' said the Colonel, rather crossly.

'Why, SMOKE?' said Alice.

'My good children, if you're an infant Band of Hope, let me recommend
you to play in some other backyard,' said the Cock-Hatted Man.

H. O. said, 'Band of Hope yourself'--but no one noticed it.

'We're NOT a Band of Hope,' said Noel. 'We'