which one of us ever had our lives
strongly influenced by a friendship of a month's standing? . . . I
once heard a sermon which made an impression on my mind that has
remained with me for years. One of its main ideas was to get your
influence before you used it. Many people seem to think that if they
can visit a poor family, by virtue of their superior education and
culture, they must immediately have a very strong influence. They do
not get it that way. They must get it just as our friends get an
influence over us, by long, patient contact, and by the slow, natural
growth of friendship." [2]

Patience is difficult where we see so many things to be done, and it is
particularly difficult where there is actual need; but the visitor does
not go to act as a substitute for the forces, charitable or other, that
have kept the family alive so far. He must confer with sources of
relief that are or can be interested, but beyond this he must have the
courage to {184} do nothing until he knows what is the right thing to
do.

It is not possible to visit many families, but there are definite
advantages in visiting more than one--the usual limit should be not
less than two nor more than four. An advantage in visiting two
families is that the visitor is less likely to be feverishly active
during the earlier stages of acquaintance, and the contrasts and
resemblances between the two give the visitor a better grasp of
principles. Not only is a new visitor liable to err in overvisiting a
family, but some families have too many charitable visitors. The New
York visitor, who refused to go to a family on whom three charity
workers had lately called, was wise. There are families so clearly
overvisited that all who are charitably interested in them should be
persuaded to let them alone for a while.

It ought to be unnecessary to add that the winter is not the only time
for charitable work. Our poor friends need us quite as much in summer,
though many charities are less active then. When we are away in summer
we can {185} write, and when we are in town for a short while we can
often find time for a visit. Charitable work suffers from the
tradition that the only time to be charitable is when it is cold.

Next to uninterrupted visiting as a means of getting acquainted, comes
the power of taking our own interests with us when we visit. "In our
contact with poor people we do not always give ourselves as generously
as we might. I