but anyhow, even the most unsuspicious
bumpkin of a lover, would be inclined to ask a few questions about
this finery. However, her performance was as fine as the dress, and
she looked quite the ZELIE-ZERLINA, so fascinating to the Lord and the
Lout.

_Saturday_.--_Romeo et Juliette_, that is, M. JEAN DE RESZKE and Mlle.
EAMES. A nearly perfect performance. JEAN a trifle too stout for an
ideal _Romeo_, but of course he couldn't go into training for the
part at short notice. The spirit with which he played the part far
outweighed the error of the flesh. Miss EAMES a charming _Juliet_
in every way, though her singing of the waltz was not of dazzling
firework brilliancy. Brother NED was the _Frere Laurent_. Excellent.
The name Anglo-Frenchified, suggests a reverend gentleman who would
meddle with legal marriages and perform private ceremonies without
leave or licence from his Ordinary, and might be known as Brother
Law-wrong, an Extra-Ordinary Friar. The House crammed full with an
audience as brilliant as the performance.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE ETERNAL FITNESS OF THINGS.

_Son of the House_. "YOU'RE NOT DANCING, MR. LAMBERT! DON'T YOU WISH
TO?"

_Mr. Lambert_ (_who is not so slim as he used to be_). "CERTAINLY--IF
YOU CAN FIND ME A _CONCAVE PARTNER_!"]

* * * * *

THE LAST SONG.

[Mr. SIMS REEVES was announced to sing "_Total Eclipse_" at
his Farewell Concert on Monday.]

Farewell! A most unwelcome word to all
Whom fifty years of charm have held in thrall:
Total eclipse--of pleasure on their part
Who love pure melody and polished Art.
Memory will echo long the silvery chime
Of such a voice as even ruthless Time
Might stay his stride to listen to, and spare
From the corroding touch. Some scarce will care
To hear "_Tom Bowling_" sung by other lips,
And when in tenor strains "_Total Eclipse_"
Sounds next upon our ears, SIMS REEVES will seem
To sing again to us as in a pleasant dream.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

[Illustration: Mr. McEwan.]

_House of Commons, Monday, May 4_.--Windbag SEXTON had fine
opportunity to-night; made the most of it. SEYMOUR KEAY absent through
greater part of sitting. Various rumours current in explanation of the
happy accident. Influenza hinted at; but Grand Young GARDNER, who is
familiar with both