ram, is now spread out over a couple of pages. Two
volumes instead of three would serve his turn far better, or rather
the public's turn, for his own is a very peculiar one. But to my task,
says the Baron, give me a slight refresher and a suck at the lemon as
it were, or a sip of the lemonade, and at him again. _Festina lente_.
More anon from

THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

* * * * *

ROBERT ON ENGLISH AND FOREIGN WAITERS.

Well, things is cumming to a pretty pass, things is, when I'm acshally
told that, as it used to be said formerly, "No Hirish need apply for
nothing," so now, we are told, that no English Waiters need apply at
the Royal Nawal Xhibishun unless he bes a German!

[Illustration: "RULE, BRITANNIA, BRITANNIA RULES THE WAVES! FOR
BRITONS NEVER, NEVER, NEVER SHALL BE SLAVES!"

_Robert the Waiter_. "WHAT'S THIS! 'NO ENGLISH NEED APPLY! GERMANS
ONLY TAKEN'! THIS _IS_ 'BRITONS NEVER SHALL BE SLAVES' WITH A
WENGEANCE!"]

I never knowed as Jack Tars, and Powder-Munkys, and Admerals (as is so
fond of Port, that they takes the werry name), was so werry parshal
to Germans, that they woud sooner go without their dinners and tease,
than be waited on by any other gennelmen, most suttenly not. "_O
contrare_," as the French Waiters says. It 'ud be a jolly long time,
I shood think, before your real British Sailers wood learn to call
a Waiter a _Gasson_, tho' as it means, I'm told, a Boy, there is sum
little sense in it, coz there's, in course. Old Boys as well as yung
ones; but what on airth meaning is there in a Kelner! as I'm acshally
told all German Waiters insists on being called! Why the thing's too
absurd to tork about.

Besides the British Publick is used to our little ways, as we are
quite used to theirn, and they talk to us in that nice confidenshal
tone about the different wines, et setterer, as no true Born
Englishman ewer yet spoke to a Frenchman, much less a German. No,
no, the hole thing's a mistake, as will soon be found out. And what a
groce injustice to the native article. These sollem-looking Germans,
not content with pushing our poor sons from their stools in our
counting-houses, as _Macbeth_ says, must now cum and take the werry
bread out of their poor Father's mouths. Oh pale-faced shame, where's
your blush? And think too of their himperance. Why they are acshilly a
going for to have a hexibition of their own, here in Lundon, and does
anyone think as they'll write u