beef and greens
for two. With this demand, however, the eating-house (having experience
of its customer) declined to comply, churlishly sending back for answer
that if Mr Swiveller stood in need of beef perhaps he would be so
obliging as to come there and eat it, bringing with him, as grace
before meat, the amount of a certain small account which had long been
outstanding. Not at all intimidated by this rebuff, but rather
sharpened in wits and appetite, Mr Swiveller forwarded the same message
to another and more distant eating-house, adding to it by way of rider
that the gentleman was induced to send so far, not only by the great
fame and popularity its beef had acquired, but in consequence of the
extreme toughness of the beef retailed at the obdurant cook's shop,
which rendered it quite unfit not merely for gentlemanly food, but for
any human consumption. The good effect of this politic course was
demonstrated by the speedy arrive of a small pewter pyramid, curiously
constructed of platters and covers, whereof the boiled-beef-plates
formed the base, and a foaming quart-pot the apex; the structure being
resolved into its component parts afforded all things requisite and
necessary for a hearty meal, to which Mr Swiveller and his friend
applied themselves with great keenness and enjoyment.

'May the present moment,' said Dick, sticking his fork into a large
carbuncular potato, 'be the worst of our lives! I like the plan of
sending 'em with the peel on; there's a charm in drawing a potato from
its native element (if I may so express it) to which the rich and
powerful are strangers. Ah! 'Man wants but little here below, nor wants
that little long!' How true that it!--after dinner.'

'I hope the eating-house keeper will want but little and that he may
not want that little long,' returned his companion; but I suspect
you've no means of paying for this!'

'I shall be passing present, and I'll call,' said Dick, winking his eye
significantly. 'The waiter's quite helpless. The goods are gone, Fred,
and there's an end of it.'

In point of fact, it would seem that the waiter felt this wholesome
truth, for when he returned for the empty plates and dishes and was
informed by Mr Swiveller with dignified carelessness that he would call
and settle when he should be passing presently, he displayed some
perturbation of spirit and muttered a few remarks about 'payment on
delivery' and 'no trust,' and other unpleasant subjects, but was