his
recollection of having carefully taken it out, he was fain to admit
that this was possible, and therefore went grumbling to the door where,
sure enough, he found it.

Now, just as Mr Quilp laid his hand upon the lock, and saw with great
astonishment that the fastenings were undone, the knocking came again
with the most irritating violence, and the daylight which had been
shining through the key-hole was intercepted on the outside by a human
eye. The dwarf was very much exasperated, and wanting somebody to
wreak his ill-humour upon, determined to dart out suddenly, and favour
Mrs Quilp with a gentle acknowledgment of her attention in making that
hideous uproar.

With this view, he drew back the lock very silently and softly, and
opening the door all at once, pounced out upon the person on the other
side, who had at that moment raised the knocker for another
application, and at whom the dwarf ran head first: throwing out his
hands and feet together, and biting the air in the fulness of his
malice.

So far, however, from rushing upon somebody who offered no resistance
and implored his mercy, Mr Quilp was no sooner in the arms of the
individual whom he had taken for his wife than he found himself
complimented with two staggering blows on the head, and two more, of
the same quality, in the chest; and closing with his assailant, such a
shower of buffets rained down upon his person as sufficed to convince
him that he was in skilful and experienced hands. Nothing daunted by
this reception, he clung tight to his opponent, and bit and hammered
away with such good-will and heartiness, that it was at least a couple
of minutes before he was dislodged. Then, and not until then, Daniel
Quilp found himself, all flushed and dishevelled, in the middle of the
street, with Mr Richard Swiveller performing a kind of dance round him
and requiring to know 'whether he wanted any more?'

'There's plenty more of it at the same shop,' said Mr Swiveller, by
turns advancing and retreating in a threatening attitude, 'a large and
extensive assortment always on hand--country orders executed with
promptitude and despatch--will you have a little more, Sir--don't say
no, if you'd rather not.'

'I thought it was somebody else,' said Quilp, rubbing his shoulders,
'why didn't you say who you were?'

'Why didn't you say who YOU were?' returned Dick, 'instead of flying
out of the house like a Bedlamite?'

'It was you that--that knocked,' said