urn the call in
person, but simply send his card by post. This distant rejoinder
practically ends the brief acquaintance without any discourteous
rebuff. It is one of the mistakes of the vulgar to be rude and gruff
in order to repel an undesired acquaintance. In reality, nothing
freezes out a bore more effectually than the icy calm of dignified
courtesy. There are exquisitely polite ways of sending every
undesirable person to limbo. The perfect self-command of the well-bred
man enables him to do this to perfection, but without giving offense.
Moreover, as most people worth seeking are men and women of earnest
lives and crowded occupations, no one need feel personally chagrined by
the failure to establish a coveted acquaintance with some gifted man or
woman.

Cards of condolence are left as soon as possible after learning of the
affliction. If in town, cards are left in person or sent by a
messenger with a message. If out of town a card is sent by the first
post. Nothing is written upon these cards.

A visiting card, with "Congratulations" written upon it, is sent to
felicitate a friend upon any happy event in which friends may
sympathize. Such cards are sent by messenger or by post. If a card is
left in person with a kind message, nothing is written upon the card.

When a man calls and sees his hostess, but not the host, he should
leave a card for the latter. If the hostess is not at home, two cards
should be left.

When a man entertains formally, each man invited, whether he accepts or
not, should acknowledge the courtesy within a week. He may call in
person, or leave a card, or send a card by mail, or write a note of
thanks, whichever he prefers. This is one of the important formalities
between men, and the neglect of it argues either ignorance or insolence.

When a man calls upon a woman while she is the guest of a family with
whom he is not acquainted, he inquires for both his friend and her
hostess, and, as he is a stranger in the house, he sends up a card for
each (instead of announcing himself _verbally_, as at the house of a
friend). If the hostess receives him on this occasion, but extends no
further hospitality, he has no claim upon her recognition beyond the
hour. If the hostess subsequently offers him any hospitality during
the time his friend is her guest he must call upon her; but if he
defers this until after the departure of the guest, he must leave a
card for the hostess without int