usiness?
other people's money--not mine, by God! and the end of life to live till
we are hanged.

BERTRAND. Macaire, I came into this place with my tail between my legs
already, and hungry besides; and then you get to flourishing, and it
depresses me worse than the chaplain in the gaol.

MACAIRE. What is a chaplain? A man they pay to say what you don't want
to hear.

BERTRAND. And who are you after all? and what right have you to talk
like that? By what I can hear, you've been the best part of your life in
quod; and as for me, since I've followed you, what sort of luck have I
had? Sold again! A boose, a blue fright, two years' hard, and the police
hot-foot after us even now.

MACAIRE. What is life? A boose and the police.

BERTRAND. Of course, I know you're clever; I admire you down to the
ground, and I'll starve without you. But I can't stand it, and I'm off.
Good-bye: good luck to you, old man! and if you want the bundle----

MACAIRE. I am a gentleman of a mild disposition, and, I thank my Maker,
elegant manners; but rather than be betrayed by such a thing as you are,
with the courage of a hare, and the manners, by the Lord Harry, of a
jumping-jack----(_He shows his knife._)

BERTRAND. Put it up, put it up: I'll do what you want.

MACAIRE. What is obedience? fear. So march straight, or look for
mischief. It's not _bon ton_, I know, and far from friendly. But what is
friendship? convenience. But we lose time in this amiable dalliance.
Come, now, an effort of deportment: the head thrown back, a jaunty
carriage of the leg; crook gracefully the elbow. Thus. 'Tis better.
(_Calling._) House, house here!

BERTRAND. Are you mad? We haven't a brass farthing.

MACAIRE. Now!--But before we leave!

SCENE IV

_To these, DUMONT_

DUMONT. Gentlemen, what can a plain man do for your service?

MACAIRE. My good man, in a roadside inn one cannot look for the
impossible. Give one what small wine and what country fare you can
produce.

DUMONT. Gentlemen, you come here upon a most auspicious day, a
red-letter day for me and my poor house, when all are welcome. Suffer
me, with all delicacy, to inquire if you are not in somewhat narrow
circumstances?

MACAIRE. My good creature, you are strangely in error; one is rolling in
gold.

BERTRAND. And very hungry.

DUMONT. Dear me, and on this happy occasion I had registered a vow that
every poor traveller should have his keep for nothing, and a pound in
his pocket to