is good
to know that this delightful writer can command an even higher rate of
pay than did Mr. RUDYARD KIPLING at the height of his popularity.

* * *

_The Daily Herald_ informs us that the Russian monk, RASPUTIN, "started
life as an illiterate peasant." But, we would ask, is there really
anything remarkable in this? We believe that the number of persons who
have been born literate is extremely small.

* * *

Says an advertisement in _T.P.'s Weekly_:--"Reader receives
guests--Leigh-on-Sea, facing sea, minute cliffs." It is honourable of
the advertiser to mention the minuteness of the cliffs. This is, we
fear, a characteristic of the Essex coast.

* * *

Among "Businesses for Sale" in _The Daily Chronicle_, we come across
what looks like an ugly example of military venality:--"GENERAL for
Sale, taking L16 a week; going cheap."

* * *

Finally, we have the pleasure to award first honorary prize in our
Pathetic Advertisement Competition to the following--also from _The
Daily Chronicle_:--

"Fish (Fried) and Chips for Sale, owing to wife's illness: only one
in neighbourhood."

We trust that the advertiser's addiction to monogamy is not confined to
the neighbourhood.

* * * * *

Illustration: WE UNDERSTAND THAT, IN VIEW OF THE POPULAR REVIVAL OF
BOXING, DR. STRAUSS HAS BEEN COMMISSIONED TO WRITE A GRAND OPERA ROUND
THE NOBLE ART. THE ABOVE REPRESENTS THE FINALE.

* * * * *

OXFORD IN TRANSITION.

INTERVIEW WITH A FAMOUS PORTER.

(_BY HAROLD BEGTHWAYT._)

Hearing from an undergraduate friend at Cardinal College of the
impending retirement of Mr. Chumbleton ("Old Chum"), the famous porter
of Salisbury Gate, I gladly seized the opportunity of running down to
Oxford to gain some fresh sidelights on the inner life of the
University. Cardinal College, unlike Balliol, Magdalen and New College,
has never shown itself responsive to the new spirit. There are probably
fewer Socialists in Peckover than in any other quad in Oxford. The old
feudal traditions, though somewhat mitigated, still survive. You still
hear the characteristic Mayfair accent and recognise a curious lack of
that Moral Uplift without which, as Sir ROBERTSON NICOLL finely says, a
man is no better than a mummy. And yet I own to having been strangely
attracted by these well-groomed scions of a vanishing breed, with their
finely chiselled featu