odern
Blutocrats."

I asked Mr. Chumbleton if there were any signs of Cardinal College being
affected by the new Moral Uplift, but he seemed unable to fathom the
meaning of my query. His standpoint was clearly philistine and, I regret
to say, distinctly pagan. He had never heard of the Land Campaign, or of
Mr. HEMMERDE, Baron DE FOREST or even Mr. HAROLD BEGBIE. His attitude
towards Mr. LLOYD GEORGE was unsympathetic. He deplored the popularity
of motor-bicycles, but, with a strange and lamentable perversity,
welcomed the advent of the motor-'bus while condemning the introduction
of trams.

I came away more than ever impressed by the tenacity of feudal
traditions, and the need of redoubled efforts on the part of all Radical
stalwarts to convert the older universities from hotbeds of expensive
obscurantism into free nurseries of humanitarian democracy. It was sad
to see such a figure as that of Mr. Chumbleton, genial and hospitable, I
admit, but utterly heedless of the trend of the times, hopelessly
ignorant of the Progressive program, and deriving a senile satisfaction
from memories of a barbarous and brutal past.

* * * * *

Painting the Lily.

"White duck trousers in a snow-white grey material."--_Advt. in
"Daily Province" (Vancouver)._

* * * * *

From _The Daily Mirror's_ account of the SMITH-CARPENTIER fight:--

"One French girl was so excited that she bit a large hope in her
fan."

Not a _white_ hope, we trust.

* * * * *

THE SINECURE.

[In _The Daily Mail's_ list of Situations Vacant, such as
Housemaids (Hmds), Between-maids (Bmds), Working Housekeepers
(Wkghkprs) and Cook Generals (Ckgns), appears the
following:--"Young Lady wanted for cinema acting. Fullest
particulars to Box No. --."]

Said she, "_The Daily Mail_ ensures
Immediate supply.
Whose situation's vacant? Yours.
Who's going to fill it? I.

"If you shall ask me, can I act?
I readily retort,
I'm just the Star you want; in fact
The strong and silent sort.

"The sooner you reveal the plot
The sooner I begin.
In me, I beg to state, you've got
The perfect Heroine."

Said they--"De Vere's a villain who
For reasons not disclosed
Desires to make an end of you ..."
("The cad!" she interposed).

"... He ties you