`Now, ladies and gentlemen,' says he, for he was a very polite sort of
a chap, `here's the universal 'lixier of life; it cures all complaints,
and takes a man, if he has a mind to it and has proper faith in what it
will do for him, right clear away to the end of the world. It's as
infallible as the Pope of Rome and all his cardinals, and is patronised
by all the first haristocracy and clergy in the country. Only one
shilling a bottle, ladies and gentlemen; taken how you will and when you
will--it's all the same--in a glass of grog, a bowl of punch, or a basin
of pap; for old or young, for boys or girls, it will cure them all, and
they will never feel ill again as long as they continue to take it.
Take enough of it, and take it long enough, and you will see the wonders
it will work.'

"On hearing all this, I asked of those who were looking on, who the chap
was, and they told me he was the celebrated Doctor Gulliman, who was
going to send all the old regular practitioners to the right about, and
it was wonderful what good he did, and how much more he would do if
people would but trust him. I afterwards found out that the fellow who
told me this was a friend of the doctor's, and stood there on purpose to
say a good word in his favour, though he pretended to have nothing at
all to do with him.

"Well, thinks I to myself, maybe he'll know how to cure me; so I made
bold and went up to him.

"When he saw me he stooped down from his carriage, and says he, `Well,
my good fellow, what's the matter with you? But never mind; whatever it
is I'll cure you. Trust Doctor Gulliman for that.'

"I didn't much fancy having to tell my complaint among so many hearers.
You see my modesty stood in my way.

"`Come, come, tell me all about it, my good man,' says he in an
encouraging tone.

"So I put my hand on my bread-basket, and told him that I was troubled
with pains in them parts, and that for the life of me I couldn't get
well, though there was seldom a night I didn't take half-a-dozen
tumblers of grog to set me to rights.

"`Put out your tongue, my man,' says he.

"I stuck it out so that from where he stood he could look right down my
throat.

"`Oh, oh! my dear man, I guessed what it was that ails you. But never
fear, I'll cure you in a jiffy. You're troubled with smoke-worms.
That's it. And they are very dangerous things if you don't get rid of
them, mind that. You see this invaluable stuff which I hold in my hand.
If