ger. Had I been by myself, such an idea would not, I believe, have
crossed my mind; but now that I had so precious a being under my charge,
I was timid as a mother with her first-born child. At last I went
below, and the night passed away in quietness. The next morning was
bright and lovely as ever an early summer has had to exhibit, and I felt
ashamed of my thoughts of the previous evening, as if I had been
ungrateful for the blessings I had received, and mistrustful of God's
merciful providence. Still the ideas I had entertained came back again
during the forenoon, and haunted me at times throughout the day. Had I
been able to speak to my wife on the subject, I doubt not I should have
relieved my mind; but I was afraid of frightening her and making her
nervous, so I kept them to myself. As the evening drew on, dark clouds
were seen banking up on the horizon. I watched them with an anxiety I
had never before experienced at sea, for I had never before been on the
ocean with a freight I prized so much. They continued rapidly to
increase, and before night closed in had formed a thick canopy overhead,
while dark heaving seas came rolling in towards us across the full width
of the German Ocean, and the increasing breeze moaned and whistled in
our rigging. The smack heeled over to the force of the wind till her
lee-bulwarks were under water, but still the master was unwilling to
shorten sail. We were on a lee shore, and he was anxious to haul off
sufficiently to make his passage good for the Firth of Forth. We might
even then have run back for the Moray Firth, where, as the wind was from
the southward of east, we should have got under the lee of the land; but
then we might have been detained there, very certainly for many days and
perhaps for several weeks, so he resolved, at all hazards, to keep the
sea. Under a close-reefed mainsail and storm-jib, the little vessel
continued her course, looking bravely up to the increasing gale. Still,
at times she plunged heavily into the seas, and it often seemed, as I
stood on her deck, as if she would never rise again above them. I sat,
while I could, by my wife in the cabin, to try and comfort and protect
her; but I could not help rushing on deck every now and then to
ascertain how matters were proceeding. The report, however, I had to
give when I returned below was anything but encouraging. I had no idea
of deceiving people, as some persons do, when danger is threatening