crowd collected at the doors of the
building in which my flat is situated.

CHAPTER III

SUNDRY SMALL HAPPENINGS

Whatever could it all mean? The Doctor-in-Law stood on the steps,
calling out, "Walk up, walk up, ladies and gentlemen, and see the
Talking Fish," while large posters were pasted on the walls, bearing
the words, "Admission Sixpence" and "One day only."

The Commissionaire who usually stands at the door was looking very
surprised and angry, while the page boy was grinning all over his
face. Whatever was happening? I hastily paid the cabman, and followed
by the Wallypug made my way through the crowd to the entrance.

"Admission sixpence each," said the Doctor-in-Law, holding out his
hand.

[Illustration: "WALK UP, WALK UP, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN"]

"What do you mean?" I replied, "and what is all this crowd doing
here?"

"Admission sixpence each!" repeated the Doctor-in-Law stubbornly, not
taking the least notice of my questions, and holding his wand across
the doorway so that I could not get in.

"Nonsense!" I cried; "I'm not going to pay to go into my own house."

"Pay for the Wallypug then and I'll let you in free," said the little
man insinuatingly.

"I shall do nothing of the sort," I cried, pushing past him and
hurrying up the stairs.

To my surprise I found my rooms occupied by strangers. Sergeant
One-and-Nine was reciting some of the Rhymester's poems in the dining
room to three deaf old ladies, two of whom had ear trumpets, while A.
Fish, Esq., was holding a kind of _levee_ in my study, seated in a
chair placed on the writing table, and was surrounded by an admiring
crowd of people who were asking all sorts of questions.

Mrs. Putchy met me at the door.

"Oh, sir!" she exclaimed. "I'm so glad you've come home. I haven't
known what to do with all these people."

"But what does it all mean, Putchy?" I inquired. "What are they doing
here at all?"

"Why, you see, sir!" said Mrs. Putchy, "Mr. Doctor-in-Law found that
A. Fish, Esq., was attracting a good deal of attention out of doors,
and he thought that it would be a capital idea to have a kind of show
here and charge sixpence admission to see him; and if there's been
one, I'm sure there's been a hundred people up here this afternoon.
The remarks they've been making too, and the questions they've been
asking. Why, one old lady, sir, wanted to know how much you paid A.
Fish, Esq., a week, and if I was _quite_ sure that you gave