n to hear
the wonderful lecture. It had been turned into verse by the Rhymester,
who, after an affected attempt to clear his throat, read as follows:

THE PERHAPNESS OF THE IMPROBABLE.

If _this_ were that, and _these_ were those,
And _hither_ nearer thither,
Why, _which_ might be whate'er it chose,
And _there_ be any whither.

Somehow 'twould be the simpler way
To _dearer_ be than cheaper,
And that's why _when_ (each other day)
Would _higher_ be than _deeper_.

So _worst_ would be the _best_ of all,
And _far more less_ than either;
While _short_ would certainly be _tall_,
And therefore thus be neither.

[Illustration: ABSENT-MINDEDLY SPILT HIS TEA]

"Beautiful! charming!" echoed all the young ladies at once when he
had finished, while one lady sitting near me exclaimed, "How sweetly
simple!" For my own part I thought that it was anything but simple,
and caught myself trying to follow the line of argument with the most
brain-confusing results.

The Wallypug was greatly distressed when he discovered that while
listening to the reading, and looking at the charming young lady with
whom he had been conversing, he had absent-mindedly spilt the whole of
his cup of tea over her dress.

"You see, they didn't give me a plate to put my cake on," I heard him
explain apologetically, "and it _was_ so awkward, for my cup would
keep slipping about on the saucer."

The young lady smiled very sweetly and assured his Majesty that it
didn't matter in the least, and shortly afterwards we left, having
stayed, as it was, far beyond the regulation time.

When we arrived home we found a letter addressed to the Rhymester in
the letter-box, which in a state of great excitement he tore open with
trembling fingers.

Upon reading the contents he burst into tears.

"Poor man, poor man!" he sobbed. "I am so sorry to have caused him so
much trouble."

"It is a letter from an Editor," he explained through his tears, "and
he is in great distress through not being able to publish my poem. He
says he greatly regrets his inability to make use of it! Poor man, he
evidently feels it very keenly. I must write and tell him not to be
too unhappy about it."

I had some letters to write too, one to a photographer in Regent
Street, asking for an appointment the next morning, for I was
determined that the Doctor-in-Law should send the promised photographs
to the young ladies without