orations. But, strange to say, it was at once seen that the
principle was faulty, and the whole impracticable. It was obvious that
the centre of gravity of so enormous a weight being brought to the
side would imperil the stability of the vessel. The bulk to be moved
was so vast, that it was likely to get out of control, and scarcely
likely to obey the slight lever which worked it. There were many
shakings of the engineering heads, and some smiles, with many an '_I
told you so_.' Even to the outsiders it seemed Utopian.

However, the gloomy voyage was duly made. One of the most experienced
captains known on the route, Captain Pittock, had been chosen to pilot
the venture. He had plainly a distrust of his charge and the
new-fangled notion. Soon we were nearing Calais. Here was the
lighthouse, and here the two embracing arms of the wickerwork pier. I
was standing at the bows, and could see the crowds on the shore
waiting. Suddenly, as the word was given to starboard or 'port,' the
malignant thing, instead of obeying, took the reverse direction, and
bore straight _into_ the pier on the left! Down crashed the huge
flag-staff of our vessel in fragments, falling among us--and there
were some narrow escapes. She calmly forced her way down the pier for
nearly a hundred yards, literally crunching and smashing it up into
fragments, and sweeping the whole away. I looked back on the
disastrous course, and saw the whole clear behind us! As we gazed on
this sudden wreck, I am ashamed to say there was a roar of laughter,
for never was a _surprise_ of so bewildering a character sprung upon
human nature. The faces of the poor captain and his sailors, who could
scarcely restrain their maledictions on the ill-conditioned 'brute,'
betrayed mortification and vexation in the most poignant fashion. The
confusion was extraordinary. She was now with difficulty brought over
to the other pier. This, though done ever so gently, brought fresh
damage, as the mere contact crunched and dislocated most of the
timbers. The ill-assured party defiled ashore, and we made for the
banqueting-room between rows of half-jeering, half-sympathizing
spectators. The speakers at the symposium required all their tact to
deal with the disheartening subject. The only thing to be done was to
'have confidence' in the invention--much as a Gladstonian in
difficulty invites the world to 'leave all to the skill of our great
chief.' But, alas! this would not do just now. The v