ect my most respectable
client, Mr. Jorrocks. He is a man for youth to imitate and revere!
Conceive, then, the horror of a man of his delicate sensibility--of his
nervous dread of depreciation--being compelled to appear here this
day to vindicate his character, nay more, his honour, from one of the
foulest attempts at conspiracy that was ever directed against any
individual. I say that a grosser attack was never made upon the
character of any grocer, and I look confidently to the reversion of this
unjust, unprecedented conviction, and to the triumphant victory of my
most respectable and public-spirited client. It is not for the sake of
the few paltry shillings that he appeals to this court--it is not for
the sake of calling in question the power of the constituted authorities
of this county--but it is for the vindication and preservation of a
character dear to all men, but doubly dear to a grocer, and which once
lost can never be regained. Look, I say, upon my client as he sits below
the witness-box, and say, if in that countenance there appears any
indication of a lawless or rebellious spirit; look, I say, if the milk
of human kindness is not strikingly portrayed in every feature, and
truly may I exclaim in the words of the poet:"

If to his share some trifling errors fall,
Look in his face, and you'll forget them all.'

"I regret to be compelled to trespass upon the valuable time of the
court; but, sir, this appeal is based on a trespass, and one good
trespass deserves another."

The learned gentleman then proceeded to detail the proceedings of the
day's shooting, and afterwards to analyse the enactments of the new Game
Bill, which he denounced as arbitrary, oppressive, and ridiculous, and
concluded a long and energetic speech, by calling upon the court to
reverse the decision of the magistrate, and not support the preposterous
position of fining a man for a trespass committed by his toe.

After a few minutes had elapsed, Mr. Sergeant Bumptious, a stiff,
bull-headed little man, desperately pitted with the smallpox, rose to
reply, and looking round the court, thus commenced:

"Five-and-thirty years have I passed in courts of justice, but never,
during a long and extensive practice, have I witnessed so gross a
perversion of that sublimest gift, called eloquence, as within the last
hour"--here he banged his brief against the table, and looked at Mr.
Smirk, who smiled.--"I lament, sir, that it has not been employ