cocktail
affair, but we Meltonians certainly have a trick, I must confess, of
running every other country down; come, sir, I'll drink the Surrey hunt
with all my heart, said he, swigging off the remains of a glass of
brandy-and-water which the waiter had brought him shortly after
entering.

_Jorrocks_. Thank you, sir, kindly. Waiter, bring me a bottom o' brandy,
cold, without--and don't stint for quantity, if you please. Doesn't you
think these inns werry expensive places, sir? I doesn't mean this in
particular, but inns in general.

_Stranger_. Oh! I don't know, sir. We must expect to pay. "Live and let
live," is my motto. I always pay my inn bills without looking them over.
Just cast my eyes at the bottom to see the amount, then call for pen and
ink, add so much for waiter, so much for chambermaid, so much for boots,
and if I'm travelling in my own carriage so much for the ostler for
greasing. That's the way I do business, sir.

_Jorrocks_. Well, sir, a werry pleasant plan too, especially for the
innkeeper--and all werry right for a gentleman of fortune like you. My
motto, however, is "Waste not, want not," and my wife's father's motto
was "Wilful waste brings woeful want," and I likes to have my money's
worth.--Now, said he, pulling out a handful of bills, at some places
that I go to they charges me six shillings a day for my dinner, and when
I was ill and couldn't digest nothing but the lightest and plainest of
breakfasts, when a fork breakfast in fact would have made a stiff 'un of
me, and my muffin mill was almost stopped, they charged me two shillings
for one cake, and sixpence for two eggs.--Now I'm in the tea trade
myself, you must know, and I contend that as things go, or at least as
things went before the Barbarian eye, as they call Napier, kicked up a
row with the Hong merchants, it's altogether a shameful imposition, and
I wonder people put up with it.

_Stranger_. Oh, sir, I don't know. I think that it is the charge all
over the country. Besides, it doesn't do to look too closely at these
things, and you must allow something for keeping up the coffee-room, you
know--fire, candles, and so on.

_Jorrocks_. But blow me tight, you surely don't want a candle to
breakfast by? However, I contends that innkeepers are great fools for
making these sort of charges, for it makes people get out of their
houses as quick as ever they can, whereas they might be inclined to stay
if they could get things moderate.--F