. She
suggested that they should take the air on the balcony, and as I
left them he pulled himself together and began to tell her, in a
well-modulated voice, that the surface of the floor was excellent.

Later I saw him with the same partner still on the balcony. They were
both pale and silent and had apparently never moved. They seemed to
be exercising an unconscious fascination on one another. My courage
failed me and I went elsewhere.

Some time after I happened to be at the buffet when Norman staggered
in and ordered a large brandy-and-soda. There were beads of
perspiration on his forehead and he was as white as death.

"What has happened?" I asked as soon as, I could attract his
attention.

"It is horrible--horrible!" he gasped.

"Tell me what has happened," I commanded, grasping his shoulder.

"What has happened!" he repeated, with a hollow laugh. "I am undone.
My career is at an end. I am a broken man."

"What have you done?"

"I couldn't help it," he sobbed. "We sat there for an age, an
eternity, unable to speak, unable to move, unable to act. At length my
nerve gave way and I--I've pulled all her teeth out."

* * * * *

THE UNEMPLOYMENT SCANDAL.

[The evening papers have lately published some striking
incidents regarding the struggle for existence that is
undergone by certain gentlemen who are in receipt of the
Unemployment Allowance.]

"We are longing for work," said a young man who, after suffering the
horrors of war for nearly four years in the Ministry of Superfluous
Hotels and Hutments, has just been evacuated. "We have prepared a list
of billets that we are ready to take up at a moment's notice."

From this list I select a few of the more likely situations:--

1. Hot-cross-bun maker to the Jewish colony at White-chapel.

2. "Double-blank" man at a factory for putting spots on dominoes.

3. Muzzle-maker to the Master of the King's Buckhounds.

4. King of Albania.

5. Judge of the Bigamy Court at Salt Lake City.

6. Military Attache to the Colonial Secretary to the German
Government.

7. Deputy-Assistant Torpedo-Lieutenant to the Swiss Navy.

8. Press Censor to distinguished Field-Marshals, Admirals, etc.

9. Manufacturer of flannel petticoats to the Hippodrome Beauty Chorus.

10. Billiard-marker on a submarine.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE INTERNATIONAL STAKES.

THE HORSE. "WELL, THIS DOESN'T G