his house are damned annoying, let me
tell you.

HECTOR. Yes: I have been their victim for many years. I used to writhe
under them at first; but I became accustomed to them. At last I learned
to play them.

RANDALL. If it's all the same to you I had rather you didn't play them
on me. You evidently don't quite understand my character, or my notions
of good form.

HECTOR. Is it your notion of good form to give away Lady Utterword?

RANDALL [a childishly plaintive note breaking into his huff]. I have
not said a word against Lady Utterword. This is just the conspiracy over
again.

HECTOR. What conspiracy?

RANDALL. You know very well, sir. A conspiracy to make me out to be
pettish and jealous and childish and everything I am not. Everyone knows
I am just the opposite.

HECTOR [rising]. Something in the air of the house has upset you. It
often does have that effect. [He goes to the garden door and calls Lady
Utterword with commanding emphasis]. Ariadne!

LADY UTTERWORD [at some distance]. Yes.

RANDALL. What are you calling her for? I want to speak--

LADY UTTERWORD [arriving breathless]. Yes. You really are a terribly
commanding person. What's the matter?

HECTOR. I do not know how to manage your friend Randall. No doubt you
do.

LADY UTTERWORD. Randall: have you been making yourself ridiculous,
as usual? I can see it in your face. Really, you are the most pettish
creature.

RANDALL. You know quite well, Ariadne, that I have not an ounce of
pettishness in my disposition. I have made myself perfectly pleasant
here. I have remained absolutely cool and imperturbable in the face of
a burglar. Imperturbability is almost too strong a point of mine. But
[putting his foot down with a stamp, and walking angrily up and down the
room] I insist on being treated with a certain consideration. I will
not allow Hushabye to take liberties with me. I will not stand your
encouraging people as you do.

HECTOR. The man has a rooted delusion that he is your husband.

LADY UTTERWORD. I know. He is jealous. As if he had any right to be! He
compromises me everywhere. He makes scenes all over the place. Randall:
I will not allow it. I simply will not allow it. You had no right to
discuss me with Hector. I will not be discussed by men.

HECTOR. Be reasonable, Ariadne. Your fatal gift of beauty forces men to
discuss you.

LADY UTTERWORD. Oh indeed! what about YOUR fatal gift of beauty?

HECTOR. How can I help it?

LADY UTTER